Biome

2011-07-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

लहरों के शांत होने का मतलब ये कतई नहीं होता कि वो थक तक गई हैं या हार मान बैठी हैं. लहरें जो सतह पर शांत दिखती हैं ज़रूरी नहीं कि उनमें गति ना हो, भीतर ही भीतर शायद वो हौंसला जुटा रही होती हैं आने वाले पलों का जिन के लिए उन्होने अपनी पूरी शक्ति संचित कर के रखी थी और लोग समझ बैठे जी बस, ख़त्म हो गया जोश, समाप्त हो गये वो कुछ कर गुजरने के जज़्बे.

कभी कभी हम किसी को सुस्ताते देखते हैं तो उसके हिम्मत हारने की वजह ढूँढने लगते हैं , बिना जाने कि वो अपनी उर्जा को व्यय नहीं कर रहा क्योंकि लक्षय कुछ और ही हैं और जब मन में ये भाव हो तो आप कितना भी तिरस्कार की नज़र से देखिए या अपनी जीत और उसकी हार के जश्न मना लीजिए,उसे कोई फ़र्क नहीं पड़ता. पड़े भी क्यों, जब अपने मन में आने वाले समय की साफ तस्वीर हो. कभी भैया ने कहा था कि पूरे दम से शिकार करने के लिए शेर को भी दो कदम पीछे हटना पड़ता है, आज उसी का अनुसरण कर रही हूँ. बस राह ही बदली है, छोड़ी नहीं है.ये राह मैने चुनी हैं , ये जानते बूझते हुए कि विराम बहुत आएँगे और बहुत से प्रलोभन , रुकावटें रास्ता बदलने के ख़याल पैदा करेंगी मन में, पर जानती हूँ कि मैं रूकूंगी नहीं. यदि कोई जलधारा पर्वत शिखर से अपना स्थान छोड़ नीचे की और बहने लगती है तो उसका ये अभिप्राय नहीं होता की अब उन में बल नहीं, वो तो बस अब चाहती हैं कि अब उन का जल , उनका वेग किसी रचनात्मक कार्य में लगे जल को भी नभ तक जा कर बरसने के लिए वाष्प बन कर कुछ समय के लिए निगाह से ओझल होना पड़ता है, पर क्या उनका नज़रों से ओझल होना, उनके अस्तित्व को मिटा देता है, नहीं सिर्फ़ रूप बदलता है कुछ समय के लिए, अगर मकसद पता है, मंज़िल पता है तो राह कोई भी हो, मंज़िल मिलना तो तय है अगर आप में इच्छाशक्ति है तो.

2011-01-28T01:28:00.000-08:00

एक नया अध्याय आरंभ हुआ है जीवन में. दो मन , दो प्राण एक सूत्र में बँध गये वर्षो की प्रतीक्षा के बाद. अब मैं सिर्फ़ नीलिमा नहीं रह गयी, बहुत से रिश्ते जुड़ गये हैं और मिले हैं बहुत से नये संबोधन. किसी की बहू, किसी की भाभी और किसी की जेठानी. बहुत रिश्ते सहेजने हैं ,जानती ही नहीं थी कि यूँ भी बदल जाएगी जिंदगी. आँखों में इतने सपनो की जगह भी ना थी, जितने सपने सच हो गये हैं. इस सपने को देखने तक से डरती थी पर तुम ने सब सच कर दिखाया.और खुशियाँ जो कब से एक रूठी सहेली की तरह दूर जा बैठी थी, अब लौट आई हैं, और आ के छिप गयी है इन आँखो में जिन में हर दम नमी तैरती थी.

"बेताब दिल की, तमन्ना यही हैं
तुम्हे चाहेंगे, तुम्हे पूज़ेंगे
तुम्हे अपना खुदा बनाएँगे

सूने सुने ख्वाबो में, जब तक तुम ना आए थे
खुशियाँ थी सब औरों की, गम भी सारे पराए थे
अपने से भी छुपाई थी, धड़कन अपने सीने की
हम को जीना पड़ता था, ख्वाहीशकब थी जीने की
अब जो आ के तुम ने, हमें जीना सीखा सीखा दिया हैं
चलो दुनियाँ नयी बसाएँगे

भीगी भीगी पलकों पर, सपने कितने सजाए हैं
दिल में जितना अंधेरा था, उतने उजाले आए हैं
तुम भी हम को जगाना ना ,बाहो में जो सो जाए
जैसे खुशबू फूलों मे, तुम में यूँ ही खो जाए
पल भर किसी जनम मे, कभी छूटे ना साथ अपना
तुम्हे ऐसे गले लगाएँगे

वादे भी है, कसमे भी, बीता वक्त इशारों का
कैसे कैसे अरमान है, मेला जैसे बहारों का
सारा गुलशन दे डाला, कलियाँ और खिलाओ ना
हँसते हँसते रो दे हम,इतना भी तो हँसाओं ना
दिल में तुम ही बसे हो, रहा आँचल वो भर चुका हैं
कहाँ इतनी खुशी छिपाएँगे"
(कैफ़ी आज़मी)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010-12-31T03:37:00.001-08:00

Wishing all a very happy new year. May this year brings all the joy to your life and all your dreams are realized.
Let us welcome the new year with new hopes, new spirit and new attitute towards life.

ek yugandhar ki mout

2009-09-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

Norman Borlaug, "Father of green revolution" died last saturday and his death went unnoticed in Indian media. He was the one responsible for feeding million mouths and was the real scientist but how many of us are aware of this. Not hungry of any award or title, I believe , he has done the greatest service of mankind and his contribution in science is unparallel.

Kuch aksharo ki keemat

2009-09-19T04:52:00.000-07:00

maan ko doctor lafj se kuch ajeeb sa lagav tha, vo chahti thi ki kuch ban paoon mein, kya chahti thi vo . kabhi kahti ki kuch aisa karoo ki duniya dekhe, phir khud ko hi nakarti aur kahti ki nahin, balki kuch aisa ki duniya yaad kare. fir sar jhatakte hue kahti ki nahin, koi jane na jane, par tu to kuch aisa kariyo meri bitto ki logo ko bhala ho, ye jo beemariya hai na, jin ke aage log bebas ho jaate hain, kuch hal nika na unko, alag alag khvab buti mere liye. jab mein use padh padh kar DNa, RNa, proteins sab batati to kaise bachcho ki tarah baith kar sunti , molecular biology ki kitabo ke chitra dekhtoi baithti thi maan mere sath rato ko jagne ke liye. idhar main taiyari kar rahi hoti udhar maan kuch kuch sawal pocchti rahti mein , jhunjhla bhi padti thi kabhi ki chodo maan main tumhe samjha nahin paoongi. maan poochti ki samjha nahin paoge to kar kaise paoge aur mein shuru hoo jaati un ke prashno ka jawab dene unke bal sulabh koutuk ko shant karne, sirf chouthi class tak padhi thi maan , par ruchi thi unki is sab mein.unki ek baat yaad hai mujhe, vo kahti ki vo gyan ho, ya vigyan agar ek bacche ko, ek boodhe ko, ek anpadh ho aur ek shodhkartaon ko unke star par ja kar samjha na pao to bekar hai. kitni baar unhone apni raato ki neend khoyi, kuch din katouti ki asur kiya ek nirantar sangharsh mujhe aage le jaane ke liye, har baar sambbal bani mera par main dekh hi nahin payi ki jis stambh ke neeche mein svasyam ko surakhshit mahsoos kar rahi hoon, vo khud kaise jeerna hota ja raha hai, vo ped jiski shakhaein mujhe aasara deti hai aur bachati hai us toofan mein mere sar ki chat ban ke, beemari aur abhav mein us ki njadein khud khokhli ho uthi hai ki kab gir pade pata hi nahin. ye ahsass jab tak ho pata, kahein to bahut der ho chuki thi par ..........
tab mujhe laga ki chodo ye sab aur chalo paisa hi banate hain, kam se kam maa ko kuch sukh to mile aur maine coachinfg centres par padhana shuru kiya, part time jise full time karne ki soch us samay dimagg mein aayi jab mere guide ne kaha ki do mein se ek kaam, ya to bahar padha lo ya ph.d hi kar lo, mein ph.d chodne ka man bana chukui thi ki maan ne kasam di ki nahin, mujhe tere naam se pahle ye doctor shabd laga dekhna hain, bahut rosh ho aaya kyunki agar coaching se aaye extra paise na aate to maan ke ilaaj mein lagne vale paise kahan se aate. guide ki ye shart tab jab baki sare sahpathi bhi ye sab chori chipe kar rahe the, par maan ki baat mannni padi aur in sab abhavo mein har das din par m,aan kjo admit karana padta hospital mein. ph.d ke previva se pahle maan aakhiri baar admit hui aur das din mein dam tod diya , us marnasann avastha mein bhi vo taiyari karne ko kahti aur mera dhyan laga rahtas dono aur, ek haath mein thesis ke notes aur doosri aur maan ka dhyaan , aur maan chal basi , bina apni sadh poori hue,aaj degree award hue mahino beet gaye, yahoo signature mein bhi dr neelima likh liya hai par khud doctor neelima likhte svayam ko sahaj nahin paati,haath kaanp jate hai kyunki maine bahut badi keemat chukayi hai is shabd doctor ke liye apni maan ko kho kar. aur jab science ke naam par thagi dekhti hoon, to man vilaap kar uthta hai par chara nahin hai .jab pata chalta hai ki ye bade bade scientist (sab ki baat nahin kar rahi), science ka jo lubhavna roop dikhate ho, jaise bharmate hain rog ke vikat roop dikha , aur bade bade daave kar anudaan lene ke samay ya phir goshtiyon mein, vo vaisa hi jaise maan bachche ko bahlane ke liye thali mein chand dikhaye, utne hi door hote hai inke kuch achcha karne ke dave jitna thali se chaand.

Finally

2009-03-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

Today , all of a sudden a dream came true.As such , it was not even in my remotest dream. When I joined CCMB asa Project Assistant on 6th November 2000, I never knew what kind of boss I will be getting. The word boss itself instilled some fear in me. Sense of this fear deepened when I met him. Dr.Ramesh K.Aggrawal, an iconic figure in his field.
I remember my first meeting with him,Scene by scene today also, those walls, those curtains, that poster but what I remembered most was the confidence oozing from his voice. He used to correct me at every step, scold me,shout at me. I used to be so afraid of him. I remember forgetting my poem lines which I was reciting as a tribute to him on Hindi Day when I saw him staring at me. I went Blah Bhah and made quite a scene. Despite all the ease and friendly environment he used to create in the lab, I used to fear those deep staring eyes. All the time, I was struggling to meet his high expectations,fumbling to be at par with the colleagues he used to praise. Trying hard not to do mistakes but at the back of my mind, there was always my ailing mother, problems at home, rising depts, my own deteiorating health. And I did mistakes, mistakes and more mistakes.But he just gave an understanding nod all the time making me feel more guilty. I used to feel guilty that I was not doing justice to my work. But used to pledge every day, may be tomorrow,I will do something for which he will say " Good, My dear friend" in his majestic style But that day never came. When I went to see my mother, I could not return back leaving her alone in such bad shape and hadto resign. He supported me at that time also,when he should have shouted at me, be mad at me for not even maintaining communication , informing my decision, for loss of his project. I never dared to tell him that how much I respect him ,nor could I tell him that I see him as my mentor. I just adore his perfectionist nature and love towards science. I was secretly harbouring this feeling that some day I may do some thing to hear those words" Good, My dear friend!". Today was the day.He said that I deserve all the success after my struggle. He just made my day. I don't know what I have done to get an appreciation from him. Thank you Sir,I can not thank you enough. Now , I believe that fortune favors those who go through all the struggle and wishes have power to become true. Now, all the struggle seems worthwhile and I can now believe these words from my favorite poet ,Late D. Harivansh Rai Bachchan.

"मैं हूँ उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़

कभी नही जो तज सकते हैं अपना न्यायोचित अधिकार
कभी नही जो सह सकते हैं शीश नवा कर अत्याचार
एक अकेले हो या उनके साथ खड़ी हो भारी भीड़
मैं हूँ उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़

निर्भय हो कर घोषित करते जो अपने उद्गगार विचार
जिनकी जिव्हा पर होता हैं उनके अंतर का अंगार
नही जिन्हे चुप कर सकती हैं आतताईओं की शमशीर
मैं हून उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़

नही झुका करते जो दुनिया से करने को समझौता
उँचे से उँचे सपनो को देते रहते जो न्यौता
दूर देखती जिनकी पैनी आँख भविष्या का ताम चियर
मैं हूँ उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़

जो अपने कंधो से पर्वत से बढ़ टक्कर लेते हैं
पथ की बाधाओ को जिनके पाँव चुनौती देते हैं
जिनको बाँध नही सकती हैं लोहे की बेदी ज़ंजीर
मैं हूँ उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़

जो चलते हैं अपने छप्पर के उपर लूका धर कर
हार जीत का सौदा करते प्राणो की बाज़ी पर
कूद उद्दादी में नही पलट कर फिर जो ताका करते तीर
मैं हूँ उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़

जिनको यह अवकाश नही हैं देखे कब तारे अनुकूल
जिनको यह परवाह नही हैं कब तक भद्र कब दीक्षूल
जिनके हाथों की चाबूक से चलती हैं उनकी तकदीर
मैं हूँ उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़

तुम हो कौन, कहो जो मुझसे सही ग़लत पथ लो तो जान
सोच सोच कर पूछ पूछ कर बोलो कब चलता तूफान
सत पथ वो है जिस पर अपनी छाती ताने जाते वीर
मैं हूँ उनके साथ खड़ी जो सीधी रखते अपनी रीढ़"

2009-03-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

Just now when I was writing my previous post. A friend asked me "How can you share your thoughts with people you don't even know?How can you let them know about your life, you don't know even their identity, What you know about them, just their locations on Clustr map?" I can only laugh at this.Little did he realize,my readers are not just dots on Clustr map, these are people who face similar problems, laugh in similar situations and face life as we do. These very people supported me when I was low, mourned my mother's death with me, flooded me with messages when I got some awards. My readers are just like my lifeline, without them I will feel isolated. Sometimes, it help not knowing their identity, So, I never feel the need to sugarcoat my version of things which I want to say.

होली है

2009-03-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

कल होली है, रंगों का त्योहार. आज हर तरफ चटकीले रंगों की बहार है, और लोगो के मन में उल्लास .कुछ दिन पहले तक तो मुझसे तो ये रंग जैसे रूठ ही गये थे पर अब दिन बदल गये हैं और ये रंग मुझे वापस भाने लगे हैं. अब की होली कुछ और भी रंग ले कर आई है. बहुत से बोझ दिलो दिमाग़ से उतर चुके हैं और आज फिर से उन रंगों को सराहने का नज़रिया आ गया है. तो आइए भर ले कुछ और रंग अपनी बेरंग सी जिंदगी में, खो जायें इन रंगो में.

सभी को होली की ढेर सारी शुभ कामनाएँ.

Happy New year

2008-12-31T05:36:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all a very Happy and prosperous New Year.Sometimes I feel the new year is quite akin to an infant who was in secure womb of time,unaware of what potential it has ?

What differences it will make to the lives of people? Unaware of burden of expectations of people about the future, it simply open its eyes. Its not only the new year that gives moments to remember to us , some happy, some sad but we also give the new year something to speak of. Every year is spoken because of important events that unfolded that year, important discoveries , inventions, great deeds of charity, steps towards peace, humanitarian service and also callous events of terrorism , tragedies and natural disasters and loss of life. 2008 Today we are preparing to welcome the year 2009, lets try to make this a wonderful year .
हर बदलते साल के साथ,
बहुत कुछ बदलता है,
नहीं बदलता तो हमारा परिस्थियों की और ये नज़रिया कि चलता है.
बदलती हैं आशाएँ, कामनाएँ, उम्मीदें
बदल जाते हैं सफलता को मापने के परिमाण
कभी कभी मूल्य भी बदल जाते हैं,
और बदलते हैं सिद्धांत भी.
उच्छश्रंखल धाराएं कभी
हो जाती हैं शांत भी.
पर चाहती हूँ बदले कुछ भी,
ना छूटे कभी ये साथ.
छोर शब्दों का टूटे तो भी,
होती रहे मन कि मन से बात.
(Neelima)

2008-11-12T06:13:00.000-08:00

कभी सुना था कि

"उम्मीद रोज वफ़ादार खादिमा क़ी तरह,
तसल्लियों के प्याले बदलती रहती है"
पर अब सब्र का प्याला छलकने को है और नयी नयी वजहें गढ़ते मैं परेशान हो चुकी हूँ. इसलिए सोचा एक बार फिर से उन सपनो की खातिर ही सही वापस कदम मोड़ चलूं उन सपनीली रहो पर,अपने लक्षय की और बढ़ चलूं,फिर से वही जुनून हो, वही लगन. पिछले कुछ दिनो की सफलताओं ने हौसला भी दिया,और बीते समय की उपलब्धियों ने इन सब ख्वाहिशों को और भी बढ़ावा दिया. लगा कि अब मंज़िल दूर नहीं ,बशत बढ़ने कि देरी है,बस मन बनाना है और बढ़ चलना है पर एक मुद्दे पर कुछ सलाह करते हुए किसी शख़्स ने पूछ लिया कि क्या मैं जानती हूँ कि आख़िर चाहती क्या हूँ और आज जवाब होते हुए भी में वो जवाब ज़ुबान तक ना ला सकी. पर जवाब था ज़रूर मेरे पास. और जवाब है कि अपने हिस्से का सच मुझे खोज ही लेना है, अब तक पैरों में कुछ ज़िम्मेवारियों की बेड़ियाँ थी,पर अब जंजीरे पिघल रही है,रास्ते बन रहे है. बस एक राह चुनने की देर है और बढ़ निकलना है मुझे अपने और अपनी मान के सपनो को पूरा करने के लिए. बस दुविधा है तो कौन सी राह चुनु,वो जो भौतिक सुखो की और ले जाती है या फिर वो अंजाने तथ्यों की और ज्ञान के प्रकाश में,सुलझाने जाने कितने अखोजे रहस्य और प्रकाशित करूँ विज्ञान जगत को ही, बिना इस लालसा के कि मैं सूर्य बनूँगी या जुगनूं,यूँ भी सब तो सूर्य नहीं हो सकते,कुछ दिन तारों की ही तरह टिमटिमा लूँ ,मतलब तो रोशनी से है.. .......
मुक्ति के आकाश पर आँखें जमाए,
चल सकोगी राह पर अंजान भी
या कि वापस लौटना होगा तुम्हे ,
उसी पारंपरिक गुफा में में अज्ञान क़ी
वर्जनाओं में नियोजित,
अर्गला से बंद गृह में,
एक भी खिड़की झरोखे से रहित,
जहाँ शायद जी सको तुम,सुख सहित.
और फिर तुम भूल भी जाओ, उस खुले आकाश का कोना,
कभी जिस के लिए हिम्मत जुटा कर निकल आई थी ,
किसी सुनसान पथ पर,
अब करेगा कौन घोषित,
चाह अंतर क़ी तुम्हारी,
कौन समझेगा,
नयन के आंसूओं क़ी बात सारी.
और खुद को खोजने क़ी कोशिश में ,कौन देगा साथ,ये भी सोचना है,
अंततः
तुमको कहीं आगे,बहुत आगे,अकेले ही निकलना है
( साभार : मुकुल चौधरी)

Mehangai Maar Gai

2008-11-02T05:55:00.000-08:00

Today, I was quite free since morning, no office, no studies, doing nothing at all. Restless as i am, started making budget for this whole month and checking account for the last month expenses. Nearly escaped a panic attack as papa told that he needs more money to run the show . As ahabit, I asked him to do some cost cutting, the answer I got from him made me realize how this inflation has affected all of us. 40 Rs Kilo tomato, Capsicum 30 Rs, Oh my God, just for 2 of us, 230 rs for vegetables that will last a week(No fruits, dear). Already I have started taking home cooked meals(without making any fuss about the food loosing taste if it is not eaten piping hot, Thanks to increased price of Narula kitchen) and prefering to walk instead of taking auto(Not only because of tampered meters and behaviour of Autowalas) but in order to save the money. whole day, we were discussing about price rise and now on blog also, No this price rise has not only spoiled my Sunday but also is wreaking havoc on my budget. The newspaper offered no relief when I tried to hid myself behind it to avoid argument with papa as the article on adulteration was quite disturbing. mixing of cowdung in coriander powrde, sawdust in chilli poweder, lead chromate in turmeric, papaya seeds with pepper, it was so shocking.clearly this " chalta hai" attitude" is harming us. Tis reminds me of an old song from a movie" roti, kapada aur Makan". how very true!

पहले मुट्ठी विच पैसे लेकर
थैला भर शक्कर लाते थे
अब थैले में पैसे जाते हैं मुत्तीी में शक्कर आती है
हाय महंगाई महंगाई
दुहाई है दुहाई महंगाई...
तू कहाँ से आई, तुझे क्यों मौत ना आई, हाय महंगाई
शक्कर में ये आटे की मिलाई मार गई
पाउडर वाले दूध दी मलाई मार गई
राशन वाली लाइन दी लंबाई मार गई
जनता जो चीखी चिल्लाई मार गई,
बाकी कुछ बचा ...

गरीब को तो बच्चों पढ़ाई मार गई
बेटी की शादी और सगाई मार गई
किसी को तो रोटी की कमाई मार गई
कपद की किसी को सिलाई मार गई
किसी को मकान की बनवाई मार गई
जीवन दे बस तिंन निसान रोटी कपड़ा और मकान
के हर इंसान
खो बैठा है अपनी जान
जो सच सच बोला तो सच्चाई मार गई
और बाकी कुछ बचा तो महंगाई मार गई

2008-10-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

आज विजयदशमी हैं,वो दिन जब कभी हम सब बचपन में उतावले रहते थे ,एक ललक लिए रावण को जलते देखने मेले में जाने के लिए. माँ की कहानियों ,रामलीला के पात्रों,और हाँ टीवी सीरियल्स से जो देखा जाना,रावण भयभीत करने वाला ही लगा,उत्सुकता के साथ हरदम भय रहता. इतने बड़े रावण के पुतले को देख हम बच्चे डर कर माँ के पल्लू में छुप जाते और झाँक झाँक कर देखते,इंतजार करते कि कब रामजी आ कर उसका वध कर देंगे. शायद आप लोगो ने भी देखा हो,या खुद बचपन का अनुभव हो,उन मेलों में तीर कमान,तलवार बिकते हर. हर बच्चा ज़िद कर कुछ तो खरीदता ही,बेचने वालो क़ी चाँदी हो जाती.
हर बच्चा ज़िद कर उन हथियार से खेलकर खुद को धर्मयुद्ध का हिस्सा समझता और असत्य के विरुद्ध युद्ध में शामिल होता. फिर आती कागज घड़ी जब रावण का पूतला फूंकता. सब हर्षौल्लासमें डूब जाते पर पता नहीं क्यों मैं तब भी सोचती कि अरे रावण जल रहा है,उसको क्यों जला दिया,उसे भी दर्द होगा,जब राम भगवान हैं तो उसकी पीड़ा क्यों नहीं समझते,क्यों नहीं उसे अपने सत्य से अपनी शक्ति से,चमत्कार से अच्छा बना देते,सही मार्ग पर लाते. माँ इन सब बातों पर हँसती और कहती सब के अंदर एक रावण होता हैं,ये तुम पर है कि उसे जलाओ,या सुधरो पर ये ध्यान रखना क़ी राम पर कभी रावण हावी ना हो. तब ये बातें अबूझ पहेली सी लगती. बड़े हुए तो बहुत कुछ समझ आने लगा,माँ क़ी बातें और उन में छिपे अर्थ. फिर रावण को उस के नज़रिए से देखने,गुणने क़ी समझ आई .धीरे धीरे वो रामलीला,रावण का दहन बचकाने लगने लगे. पर फिर भी परंपरा हैं.
पर आज बिकते कुछ पहले सा नहीं हैं,आज तो घर से निकल कर मेलो,सड़को पर जाने से पहले लोग घबराते हैं,सुबह निकलते हैं, जीवन पर आतंक क़ी छाया है,यहाँ सीरियल ब्लास्ट्स ,कहीं गोलीबारी,कुछ भी सुरक्षित नहीं,कुछ गुमराह बच्चो हथियार हाथ में अब कागज के हथियार नहीं विध्वंस के सामान हैं,और सब क़ी आँखो में मासूमियत नहीं भय है,आज रावण नहीं,विश्व जल रहा है,हमारा देश सुलग रहा है.ये आतंकवाद का रावण आज हमे ही जलाने पर उतारू है,पर प्रश्न फिर वही है,ये रावण क्यों बना,क्या इसे सही मार्ग पर लाना सही निर्णय है या जलाना.

चलिए आज हम सब अपने मन के रावण का दहन करे,कोशिश करे कि हमारे छोटे छोटे स्वार्थ लालसाएं हमारे सत्य पर हावी ना हो.

आप सब को विजयदशमी क़ी शुभकामनाएँ. सदा सत्य क़ी असत्य पर विजय हो.

2008-08-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

I have come across a long way, it has been a long long journey. When I look back at past, I somehow wonder how I managed all this. My mon used to say " PROBLEMS LOOK LIKE MOUNTAINS WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH THEM, BUT ONCE YOU OVERCOME THEM, YEARSLATER, YOU LAUGH AT THOSE PROBLEMS. PROBLEMS TEND TO LEAVE FROWN MARKS OR SMILE LINES ON YOUR FACE, ITS YOU WHO CHOOSE HOW YOU WANT TO LOOK LATER IN LIFE, SMILE AT PROBLEMS NOW AND SUCCSS WILL SMILE AT YOU TOMORROW." These words used to give me the strength when every thing else failed but as part of growing up, dealing with day to day life, I had forgotten these words. I got afraid of treading out of my known territory, my comfort zone. This environment, this negativity all around made me a completely different person. Few days back while arguing with my best friend how destiny can shape the life, I felt the power of my own words while saying that our own actions write our destiny.So, again I am after my dreams, this time not shdding tears for them but going to capture all of them for bringing smile on your face.I AM COMING TO WRITE THE SUCESS ON THE CANVAS OF LIFE.

लिए सपने निगाहों में, चला हूँ तेरी राहों मे
ज़िंदगी आ रहा हूँ मैं
मेरे हाथों की गर्मी से, बिखर जाएँगी ज़ंजीरें,
मेरे कदमों की आहट से, बदल जाएँगी तकड़ीरें,
उम्मीदों के दिए लेकर, ये सब तेरे लिए लेकर
ज़िंदगी आ रहा हूँ मैं

2008-08-17T03:23:00.000-07:00

One very young research scholar of our institute died last week in a road accident.There were talks of sympathy,pity and sadness but there were people who did all they can to save him but others were too busy to even stop near his photo and the indifference was really shocking.Two colleagues were complaining that our institute does not declare holiday.Isa holiday the only thing they cared for?I don't know how I should react to it. Is it their young age,immaturity or plain indifference that made them remark in such away on some one's death?

ये शहर है,
मशहूर,चहल पहल से भरा हुआ.
यहाँ भीड़ तो मिलती है,दोस्त नहीं मिलते.
रोशनियाँ होती है ,जो आँखो को चुँधिया दे
पर रोशनी के लिए खुद को जलाने वाले जुगनू नहीं मिलते.
सुना था किसी शायर ने इन्हे दिल के बदले हाथ मिलने का दस्तूर सिखाया है,
शायद तभी लोगो की मुस्कुराहट में शामिल तो हो जाते है सब,
पर किसी के बिलखने पर भी इनकी आँखों में आँसू नहीं मिलते.

Happy Independence Day

2008-08-15T00:48:00.000-07:00

Svatantrata divas ki dhero shubh kamanaein.
A happy Independence to all Indians. May we all respect the spirit of independence and contribute in the progress of nation in whatever way we can.

KANAK KANAK TE SO GUNO

2008-08-14T01:46:00.000-07:00

Indians have gone rapturous on Bindra’s Victory. And why not? It is said that

कनक कनक ते सौ गुनो, मादकता अधिकाए ,
वा खाए बौराए जग, या पाये बौराए

So, this achievement has definitely the power to make us go crazy with happiness.

"Masjidon-Mandiron Ki Duniya Mein

2008-06-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just while writing the earlier post,suddenly I remembered what my mother used to quote something from Kabir or Rahim
" Dukh mein simran sab karein sukh mein kare na koi, jo sukh mein simran kare to dukh kahe ko hoi"
Strange, but this can be interpreted as . If we do not remember God in time of happiness, misery will come to us.Why the supremo can not take a casual approach like a mother(of course , from where he will bring the greatness of a mother?)Most of us remember mother at time of pain.Even old people utter" O maaa" when they get hurt.Why God can not be happy when we approach him in difficult times , why he can not allow the luxury of not remembering him at the drop of hat but at our most difficult times.

Again, the same tough task master approach.

"masjidon-mandiron ki duniya mein
mujh ko pahachanate nahin jab log

main zaminon ko be-ziya karake
asamanon mein laut jata hun

main Khuda ban ke qahar Dhata hun"
what does this imply, if people forget to recognize him, he will show his powers in form of disaster and calamities so that the faith is again established. But let me ask what we imbibe at that time is fear not faith.

Is God a headmaster?

2008-06-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

Just few days back , had a discussion about God and His miracles with a senior person of the lab whom I respect a lot. As usual I was angry with God . No it was not " WHY ME? " type of questioning , instead it was " WHY HER" . I am really really angry with God for snatching my mother away from me. Its painful but more than that her sudden death has changed the whole perspective of life for me. It has shaken my belief in all the GODS and Supreme powers. My Senior tried to bring back the faith and devotion and gave me a book " SRI GURU CHARITA". More I was trying to avoid reading it, more it was attracting me. For some time , I got peace of mind but again, one irony has made the things back to their place. While on my way to office, a boy was sending idols of God, he was bargaining with people and reply of a lady perplexed me "AB TO BHAGWAN BHI MeHANGE HO GAYE?" Very true, today if you go and offer a prasadam, or some dakshina, price iswhat that matters. Devotion and faith are useless commodities. I don't know whether we have commercialized the GOD or GOD has commercialized himself but one thing is for sure, that:

"is badalti duniya ka khuda koi nahin
saste damon me har roz khuda bikte hein"

Otherwise why do we see more and more people flocking to temples but the only one who seem to enjoy life are the ones who can afford handsome money as offerings.Why God does not see the plight of poverty stricken people, people starving, dying, diseased ? They say GOD is purifying us, as a goldsmith purify the gold so that it can shine. But what good it does to gold, it benefits only wearer. They say that all our pain isthe result of our " poorva Karma" and he is freeing us from that by giving these punishment as a chance of repentence. But is God a headmaster just waiting for a chance to rebuke kids on slightest mistake? And if he is God, Why he allows us to do mistakes? I always used to percieve God as a creator and we are his childraen , then how he is partial to only few of us.
I will try to find the answers in the book.

2008-04-21T06:59:00.000-07:00

कल का दिन, फिर से एक नयी उम्मीदों को लिए आएगा. कभी लगता है समय थम गया है, कभी पंख लगा कर उड़ाने लगता है, इन दो वर्षो में बहुत से सपने हम ने साथ साथ बुने हैं, बनते बिगड़ते देखा है उन्हें यथार्थ के धरातल पर , पर इस सब से बड़ी बात है कि हम साथ हैं, आज भी.रहेंगे भी .तुम्हे देने को मेरे पास आज कुछ नहीं है , पर मेरा साथ है, जो तुम हर दम पाओगे, हर मुश्किल घड़ी में, पाओगे अपने साथ मुझे, एक परछाई क़ी तरह.
पहले कोई कहता था तो अजीब लगता था कि हम एक दूसरे क़ी उम्मीदों पर खरे उतर पाएँगे या नहीं, पर अब उन सब के लिए एक उत्तर हमारे पास आज है, हमारी उम्मीदें बहुत छोटी थी, एक दूसरे के अनुरूप ढल गयी और हम बिना अपना निज खोए, अपने को बदले बिना, दूसरे के बदलने क़ी उम्मीद लगाए बिना एक दूसरे के पूरक बन गये और यूँ स्वीकार किया हम ने ये रिश्ता.और बदल गया सब कुछ, हर अंधेरे में जुगनू चमकने लगे, स्याह पड़े थे जो रंग मुँह छिपाए हुए, वो भी अब चमकने लगे हर सफ़र मंज़िल लगने लगा , जब से हम ने आप को मंज़िल माना, बदल गये मायने जिंदगी के जब से आपको जिंदगी जाना.

माँ

2008-03-03T06:20:00.000-08:00

"रूह के रिश्ते की ये गहराइयाँ तो देखिए
चोट लगती है हमें और चिल्लाती है माँ

फ़िक्र में बचों की कुछ इस तरह घुल जाती है माँ
नौज़वान होते हुए बूढ़ी नज़र आती है माँ

सख़्त राहों मे भी आसान सफ़र लगता है...
यह मेरी माँ की दुआओं का असर लगता है

मौत की आगोश में जब थक के सो जाती है माँ
तब कहीं जा कर सुकून थोड़ा सा पा जाती है माँ"

जब मैंने इन पंक्तियों को एकत्र करना आरंभ किया था, उद्देश्य था अपनी माँ के प्रति कुछ उद्गार प्रकट करना , माँ सुनती , मंन ही मन मुस्कराने लगती, उसकी आँखों में जुगनू से चमकने लगते, ढेर सारे सपने मेरे उज्ज्वल भविष्य के तैरने लगते, कुछ बूँद आँसुओं के साथ, और वो बुदबुदा उठती, बस बस बहुत हुआ, पहले ये संघर्ष भरे दिन ख़तम हो जायें, तू कुछ बन जाए, मेरे मरने के बाद याद करना मुझे ये सब कह कर. तब कहाँ जाना था उसकी बातों का सार, सच ही तो वो नहीं रही ये सब देखने को. पर उसे खोने का अहसास जागता ही नहीं, दुख है जो घर कर के बैठ गया मन में पर उसकी गैर मौजूदगी उसके ना होने का प्रमाण नहीं बन पाई अब तक, उसे गुज़रे 3 माह बीत गये पर आज भी दरवाजा खोलती हूँ तो लगता है, अभी माँ पूछेगी , आज का दिन कैसा बीता, हर दम इर्द गिर्द महसूस करती हूँ उसकी परछाई को पर एक ख़ालीपन सा है. शायद इस हफ्ते में अपनी थीसिस पूरी करूँगी, तुम बहुत याद आओगी माँ. तुम्हारा एक सपना पूरा होने जा रहा है, तुम्हारा प्रण , तुम्हारा संघर्ष जीत गया माँ, अब तो खुश हो.

तुम्हारे लिए

2007-10-28T01:38:00.000-07:00

"आकाश से झरते हैं बादल ,
बिखरती है ख़ुशबू ,
तुम्हारे लिए, तुम्हारे लिए"
बरसो पहले सुनी ये पंक्तियाँ आज भी अनायास ही गुनगुनाने लगती हूँ, पैर आज ये यूँ ही बेमानी नहीं हैं, कोई है जो समझता है, किसी का अहसास है , जो इन पंक्तियों को सार्थक कर देता है, बदल देता है पर्याय हर बात के.

2007-10-02T02:59:00.000-07:00

I am alive.
Its a statement , I don't know meant for whom.May be to those who might have forgotten to ask me , " are u still alive?" just out of the care or to myself just to remind myself that life is much more than inhaling and exhaling.Yes, I am alive. I can sense it , again the pain was tryingto mar my spirit and again I came out of it, never letting my spirit down.

2007-08-18T02:33:00.000-07:00

I remember the time when I was mocked at for standing when National anthem played. Standing in attention at oddest places in most unusual situations. While Kneading flour, watching a movie .My friends used to find this funny but it never changed me. All these years, I could not recollect a single incidence when I heard National anthem and did not stand up in attention.. I feel a great pride and enjoy singing along with national anthem. But yesterday I really got irriataed with this idea. 2 days back, I saw Asha and lata Mangeshkar singing the song for airtel commercial, I thoroughly enjoyed it, stood up and praised the very idea.
I never knew what was to come. Every half an hour or so, the commercial featured some or the other maestro with a new version of national anthem. I was doing this routine of standing up in attention every half an hour.
And then…………….yesterday night , I was listening the national song lying in bed. Thanks to this commercial and this silly business, my ligament injury has aggravated and now I am cursing these commercials.

"S" for ..................

2007-06-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

3 days back, I was shocked with the news of accident of my neighbour's kids. The two little girls got hurt badly just because a lad was speeding his bike. He did not even had the humanity to stay there and lift them from the busy road and was ready to escape when the angry junta came to beat him black and blue butthen , also, no one came forward to console the kid . One good hearted lady took them to the hospital and brought them home.I was requested by this girl to accompany her to the temple in the evening where her friend was bringing her some notes which I gladly agreed to.It was Aaarti time. We sat there amidst the buzzing sound of mosquito and crickets, pleasant breeze and a rat to give us company. We were killing time by chatting and an old acquintance stepped out of the temple and after the usual hi and hellos, westarted enquiring about future career plans. An old man leaned forward to listen what we were talking. Though annoying , we did not pay any heed to him. Suddenly he asked us, "what is your mother toungue?" strange question, but he enquired again and targeting one by one asked each of us, then our name,I asked his name then, as he starting talking to us without introducing himself and suddenly This Mr.Satyanarayan started his speech, Swati(my friend's name), Swati means S ,
S for Sai in hindi , S for saint in english, s for sadguru in Punjabi, s for sarkar in urdu, it means S is the essence of all godly power, so you are having divinity.
Then asked us the meaning of GOD, " What is G in GOD?" we said may be great, No G for generator, O for organiser, D for dissolver.
Then told something about the trinity and its relationship with christianity and significance of the dissolver Shiva , like how he is the prime force ? Quoted many examples and again started his point, s for Swati, by that time that little girl was feeling intense pain , he pointed out that we were sitting while other girl is standing , that shows respect, that shows gain s , s for sanskar(Poor fellow, he could not see the disgusted look on our face, how he supposed a girl with two major injuries on her knees to be standing for such long time, and myself having tremendous pain because of my ligament injury and inflammation gives a damn to standing for such long time just for being in his good books)His S story took him to sanskrit, bhavarth of some shlokam, again S, his definition of spirituality again S, Then he tols about his journey to hrishikesh, to learn about the mysteries . By that time we were bored to death and many people were staring him , then he shooted another question" Whats my name?" Each of ius wanted to say " To hell with ur name" but showed him courtsey and told we did not remember, swati remembered half name and told "some satya". To our amusement he told, see s for smartness, sharpness. You should never forget my name.Why?
Ooph, what a silly question but just not to offend him , yes bcoz you have told us so many good things to which he replied no, because I have given you shiksha.We should never be proud, we should be this that.
Then he told us after going to that particular ashram, he progressed like any thing, today he has come on scooter but he owns a car( any guess which make, must be s for "Santro")he earns 4 lakhs a month, he owns these many degrees , people respect him for his suvichaar. And again starting boasting off and really it was so annoying that we were praying that friend of Pragnya should come and we can make a escape.We breathed a sigh of relief when he left. One question that lingered on was why he was himself boasting off while asking others not to be proud? Why he targeted a bunch of people for his S for Speech? Whom he reminds us of? (Is it Ch for Chuunilal of Devdas fame with exception of S being his favorite letter?)
With more of such s for stuff on his s for stupid S for speech, I will continue the S for series in next post.

Ye rishta khoobsurat hai kitna............

2007-06-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

I heard sometime back that blood is thicker than water (of course not in the context of specific gravity), or blood relations are the only relations that last a lifetime.But someone came in my life and showed me the new dimensions of a relation.
He is someone I knew from the time I was a kid going to nursery class, and he is the one for whom the only memories were of 2 songs" Mera jeevan kora kaagaj" and "mere maanjhi" which he sung too well. The memories of his being a good student or the pranks he played on teachers did not last too long. But still I used to wonder that how could I , a shy , introvert girl, thought of gathring my classmates and going to principal's office to show our displeasure on her decision to restricate him just because he questioned principal and told her not to beat a fellow classmate as it might harm his self respect.
Schooldays ended, he left to pursue his dreams and I moved on to go and follow mine but still there wwas a joke shared between me and komal about his choice of songs and our hindi madam's comment" Kora kaagaj kah rahe ho itni copies bharne ke baad exam mein"
When I was again struggling in my life, trying to carve a niche for myself , trying to face life as it comes, suddenly we met again. how can I forget the day? I was standing at the bus stop, rememering past 3 days which were really really bad , with 3 incidences of eve teasing. Suddenly a stranger approached me, i was thinking here again, and prepared myself to give him a piece of mind .But the thoughts revealed and reflected myself as he guessed whats going on in my mind. He said " I am Atul" Could not believe my eyes and ears.You stood tall at 6 ft nowhere resembling sweet Golu Molu innocent Atul whom I knew.After exchanging pleasantries, i asked him where he was staying. The very answer " hyderabad" made me say " then i have to catch hold of you" (CCMB was always on my mnd so much so that even this slip of tongue did not sound stupid to me and before I could say anything further , my bus approached and not wanting to miss my exam , I bid you bye(did i really say bye, i doubt that"Months passed. then came one of those diificult moment of my life , having 97.21 GATE SCORe and all deadlines over suddenly it striked to me that JNTU date is still remaining . But I needed to find someone in Hyderabad ans suudenly I thought of you. Finding you in whole hyderabad, impossible task when even i did not know any contact info at our place, impossible job made possible by Manoj and Rajeev. Called you and told, u replied back withthe required info, could not get the rquired selection there but found some one to share things with. You came home and don't know what, i shared from nothing to every thing with you in just one evening. Found those eyes special, felt i can trust you.
Then came a series of troubles and your never ending support. your letters always inspired me( to the extent that a girl who had thought of missing the viva , prepared it against all the odds and went on to get the gold medal). I came to hyderabad to live my dream(of working in CCMb(was it possible withouit you?)), stayed at your house, had greatest time of my life , sharing things with you, your jokes, your consolation, every thing was so endearing.
You came along for the interview and told in the evening that someone asked with whom you had come and you told my sister. That moment you made my day(or should I say, life)Ek rishta hi to khoj rahi thi main, itna saral explanation is rishte ka,kjeevan saarthak ho utha, my selection made me shift my base to here (or was it a move to be close to you, i still don't know).
You stood like a pillar to support me through thick and thin, aur mujhe laga jo bhi best mujhe life se mil sakta tha, bas yehi tha, par tum ne to mujhe vo sab khushiyaan di jo kisi ek rishte mein milna mushkil, dost , sakhi, bhai, guide, financial adviser sab ek mein hi mil gaya. par asli svaroop mila is rishte ko jab mein appendicitis ke dard se tadap rahi thi, ghar se door akele yahan, jab tumne har jimmevari ko yoon nibhaya. tab samajh aaya is rishte ka aarth jab teri upasthiti matr hi bahut hoti thi mujhe suraksha bhav dene ko. tum ne sahi mayne mein ek pita ki tarah hi dekhbhal ki meri, aur tab paya ek aur rishta maine ek pita ka. vo dular aaj tak bhi nahin bhool payi maein(kya kabhi bhool paongi)tum mere biological father nahin par pita se badhkar ho, isiliye father's day par itna yaad aa rahe ho, (baki din bhi kam yaad nahin aate ho?hardam tumne disha dikhayi hai

, har dam ek path prardasshak rahe ho, vo bhi aise pita hio ki kuch bhi poochne kahne sunne ki aajadi.aaj door ho kary ki vyastataon mein, jeevan ki aur jimmevariyon mein ulajhe ho par ye bitiya yaad rahegi na?
"This one is for the best father in the world"

vo patthar khate hain

2007-06-02T05:40:00.000-07:00

Vo patthar khate hain!
haan yahi to suna tha maine, jab thak kar aa kar bag kursi par daal TV on kiya. Laga koi routine news hogi. kahan pattharbaji aagjani nahin ho rahi hai kahin dharm ke naam par, kahin aarakshan ke naam par, har taraf to aam aadmi pathar hi kha raha hai balwaiyon ke beech mein, ek bhadki bheed ke haathon.
Par aashcharya hua, ye to Orissa ke kuch aadivasi parivaro ki lachari ki katha thi jo vivash hain apni bhook mitane ke liye pet bharne ko patthar khane ke liye
. ye parivar bhor hote hi nikal padte hain apne aujar leke , hatho mein fawde liye badon se baccho tajk sabhi. aur jameen khod kar nikalte hain ek khas tarah ke patthar jin se vo apni bhukh shant karte hain. report mein diya hai ki vahan political circle mein halla mach gaya hai is khabar par, ek committee ko aadesh diya hai ek hafte mein report pesh karne ka, aarop pratyaropon ka bazar garm hai, preliminary report bana li gayi hai,kathan par kathan prakashit ho rahe hain, tv reporters par mukaddmewin dayar kiye gayen hai. Koi nahin kaanta ki ye chichori patrakarita hai ya logo ki durdasha ka nanga sach.sacchai kuch bhi ho, par kahin nahin bataya gaya ki is parivar ke liye kya kiya gaya?
aashcharya, shoonya hoti samwednao par.lupt hoti manavata par.

2007-05-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

3 different things which came to my mind yesterday
A statement: "Take me as I am. People say this world was created by some `Big Bang' or Him, but to me the world we live in was created by the British Empire . Otherwise, how can we allow newspapers and foreign offices in Asia using words like Middle East and Far East on the basis of their distance from the United Kingdom ." Nayan Tara Sahgal

Claps and whistles in a movie, nothing new, but still I felt delighted when the crowd applauded on Akshay's attempt to tell the people about the greatness of our country and showed the person in question the real face of India.

The snap in Deccan Chronicle showing the plight of a child labour in the backdrop of " Delhi Chalo" march organised to celebrate the completion of our "First Independence struggle" .

sharartein

2007-03-16T04:10:00.000-07:00

kabhi tum bhi kaho kuch

2007-03-16T03:17:00.000-07:00

Kabhi tum bhi kaho kuch,
sannato ki juban mein,
ye aawajein chubhti hain
kaan ke parde tak aa kar
thahar jaati hain
aur ek shor ki shakl mein tabdeel ho jati hain
us shor mein jiska koi na matlab hota hai na falsafa
hota hai to bas abstract sa ek aabhas,
jo aur bhi uljha deta hai is uljhe man ko
sargoshiyan, cheekhein, hansi,
kisi mein antar nahin rahta,
in aawajo ki bheed mein.
tum hi kaho kuch sannato ki juban mein
(written few days back when I was getting irritated at the slightest sound, locking myself in the room in depression . Now when this phase is over, this is my way of apologising to those who tolerated my anger without complaining)

2007-03-16T03:04:00.000-07:00

New species of cat discovered

Ths was the news item that caught my eye as soon as I wake up. As if they were not enough for me. Confused?
Yes, cats and me, a strange relation. Whenever and whereever, I decide to step out of my house for any work or just for the sake of going out, God knows from where some cat will come to cross my way. Think it has got to do omething with the fact that in my native plce, its a superstition that if a cat cross your way, its a bad omen and then either u should change your path or stop for some time and inspite of all the scoldings from my dadi(grandmother), I never followed this and since then it had been a routine, the cat always chose to cross my ways. so much so that f some day it does not happen, I feel something missing.

Happy women's day!

2007-03-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

Happy women's Day to all!
a tribute to those who takes pride in being a homemaker, a salute to those who shine in work in and out of their workplaces and an appreciation for those who makes the world a place worth living by their smiles hiding all the pain and agony to let the others feel happy.

I always wonder why there is a need for a women's day when each day is the celebration of womanhood!

2007-02-26T05:01:00.000-08:00

Kacchi mitti hai dil bhi insaan bhi,
dekhne hi merin sakht lagta hai,
aansoo ponche to aansooon ke nishan,
khushk hone mein waqt lagta hai.

Jakhm dikhte nahin abhi lekin,
thande honge to dard niklega
aesh utarega waqt ka jab bhi,
chehra andar se jard niklega..

( excerpt a song from film " Dooriyaan" )

VISUAL DNA

2007-02-20T06:11:00.000-08:00

Kaash vakai kuch VISUAL DNA jaisa concept hota , aur hum is ATGC bases ki paheliyon mein uljhe bina apne baare mein yoon hi jhat se jaan pate, par fir ye jindagi hai itni sahaj hoti to jindagi na rahti, aur aap ko har prasha ka uttar chantna hota itni kam choices ke beech se, utne options bhi na hote jitne jindagi har samay bikher deti hai aap ke samaksha ek tilism ke jaise. Chunav to aasaan hota par mushkilat badh jati.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

2007-01-07T23:37:00.000-08:00

Terrorism (That is the flag of peace)

2007-01-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

"jaage hain deer tak
hamen kuch der sone do
thodi se raat aur hai
subah to hone do
aadhe adhure khwaab jo
pure na ho sake
ek baar phir se neend mein
woh khwaab bone do"
lyrics : Gulzaar
haan, after spending 4 nights sleepless in a row, this is the song I am listening to, and completely relates to, trying to catch up the sleep.

2006-11-30T05:55:00.000-08:00

Naap ke, waqt bhara jaata hai,
har rait ghadi mein
ik taraf khali ho jab phir se ulat dete hain usko
umra jab khatm ho, kya mujhko wo ulta nahin sakta?
(Gulzar)

2006-11-14T00:24:00.000-08:00

Kuch saanson ki majboori thi,
jeene ke liye bhi koi peer jaroori thi.
Tum aaye to dard mila, dard ka ahsaas mila,
aankho mein aansoo ke bina ye tasveer adhoori thi.
Tum se sab kuch baanta hai,
har dukh sukh apna saanjha hai
hum bant jaye do hisso mein,
isse pahle dil ke aaine pe ye lakeer jaroori thi.

2006-11-01T06:42:00.000-08:00

Last month was hectic, my health not permitting to work and tremendous workload, travelling et al.Got second prize for my Oral presentation in Young Scientist category at International Symposium on Vector and vector borne diseases held in Madurai held during 13-15 October.

2006-10-08T01:26:00.000-07:00

Samay ke charkhe par bunti jati hoon
kuch sapne ujale kal ke
goonth rahi hoon in smritiyon ko ,
jaise saheje koi muktakhaar ke manke.
ye sapne resham ka aavaran nahin honge,
jin ki sundarta ke peeche resham ke keedon ki vyatha chipi ho.
in mein dard nahin, rasi bachi hogi khushboo mere paseene ki.

2006-10-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

Is tarah se mujhe aap mat dekhiye,
bhavsoochi nahi hoon main bazaaar ki,

meri har saans mein ek upanyas hai,
koi katran nahin hoon main akhbaar ki.
(heard today : a poem of Anu Sapan on wah wah on sab TV)

Man ki thah

2006-10-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

Chetan aavchetan

2006-09-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

Kaise jaan pate ho,
mere poochne se pahle hi tum mere sare prashan,
aur vismay,
unka uttar bhi
kya ye sannikatata se upaja vishvas hai,
ya sammohan
ki khoh le pate ho
mere us athah mann ki
jise main ab tak naap nahin payi.
svapano ke mane, soch ki hadein
aur seemaein kalapanaon ki,
kaise jhank pate ho in sab se pare
chipe mere antarman ko.
Un jatil guthiyon ko kaise suljha lete ho,
jo mujhe hi bandh deti hai,
kaise jaan lete ho?

sahaj hi hai,
main chetan jo hoon tumhare avchetan mann ka.

2006-09-09T06:44:00.000-07:00

Aaj choudas ka chaand nikalne wala hai,
Vo bihaega apni chandni is dharti par.
aaj ki raat khali nahin hogi, bikharenge is dhara par chandni ke moti,
har hriday mein umango ko bhar degi ye chandni,
kintu
phir bhi main akeli hongi,
mera hriday phir bhi rikt hoga, shunya mein khojta koi satya,
meri apoorna ki smarak nahin ban payegi,
ye ujjavala, dhavela, sheta.
nahin degi vo shhetalta mee hriday ko, vo bhi lagegi mujhe ,
jindagi ki pathrili raho mein dhoop ke samaksh.
jismein tap kar shayad
main bhi ho chuki hoon,
unhi raahon ki tarah .
jo deti hain, pathrilapan aur hridyaheenta
kho jata hai vyakti ka vastavik vyaktitva,
kho jata hai uska astitva.
(read long back)

Krantik bindu

2006-09-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

Jindagi chourahe par khadi milti hai,
aur main hoti hoon nirnayheen,
Aaj to choudas hai
magar amavas?
kya hoga un amavas ki raato mein,
un sunsaan rahon ka,
nahin hoga koi rahnuma raah dikhane ko,
ya saathi saath chalne ko,
main krantik bindu par hoon,
nitant akeli,
hardam shunya mein khojti koi satya.
(Read long back)

Kahan gayi mamata?

2006-09-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

Nahin, Mamata koi bichudi hui, saheli ka naam nahin. Main to dhoondh rahi hoon us mamata ko jis ke samaksh ishvar bhi natmastak ho jaate hain.

Last one month , the TV channels are showing some really disturbing stories. No, not the stories of terrorism, war or big policies being drafted, not even of hunger, poverty and diseases. These are the stories of infants being deseted or thrown away by their parents.

I saw three different reports, all having one thing in common, a new born thrown in the darkness of night , just to become the morsel of vultures , dogs or other wild animals. A life struggling even before opening the eyes. One baby was found in trash , another in the drain, severely injured, wanting one breath of life.
I fail to understand how one can be so indifferent to the child one has kept in womb for nine long months?
Was moved when i came across a report from calcutta where a mother has killed the newborn baby girl just because they wanted a boy.Kahan suna tha maan apne pran dekar bhi bacche ko apne rakt se seenchti hai, vahi maan agar hatyari ban jaye to kya hoga?

Rejected 100!

2006-09-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

A discussion overheard....
" These are the photos of girl,we are seeking the proposal for our US returned nephew.He has already rejected nearly 500 girls. Imagine!" exclaimed the proud relative.
Response of the listener" Don't underestimate our fellow worker, he has also rejected above 100."

This apathetic attitude, these callous remarks, I wonder what would be their remarks if they belonged to girl's family.

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts

2006-09-07T02:39:00.000-07:00

The longest English word that does not contain the letter 'e' is occinaucinihilipilification at 29 letters.

Aegilops, 8 letters long, is the longest word with its letters arranged in alphabetical order.

CIMICIC and CIMICID, each 7 letters long, are the longest words that are exclusively made up of Roman numerals when written in upper case. Among words consisting of only Roman numeral letters, the "highest scoring" are MIMIC (2,102) and IMMIX (2,012).

Lighttight and hillypilly, each 10 letters long, are the longest words consisting only of letters with ascenders, descenders and dots in lower case.

Honorificabilitudinitatibus, 27 letters long, is the longest word consisting strictly of alternating consonents and vowels.

Unprosperousness, 16 letters long, is the longest word in which each letter occurs at least twice.

Discrete - discreet is the longest homophonic anagram (2 similarly pronounced words that are spelled differently but sound the same and are composed of the same letters).

The longest words that are reverse images of each other are stressed and desserts

Paiband

2006-09-06T07:16:00.000-07:00

Bikhare hue the uski shaksiyat ke tukhde,
sapne yahan vahan faile the,
jaise uske kapde betarteeb faile ho ,
uske us bachelor room main
jise vo aaj bhi ghar kahne se jhijhakata hai.
ab use koi kaise samjhaye ki
tum khud us umeed ki tasveer par
samjhote ke paiband to laga sakte ho yahan vahan,
par use pahle jaisa karne ke liye jaroorat padegi,
kisi ke sath ki

My first paper

2006-09-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to my first paper.
My Paper
This paper was the culmination of our year long effort. Though i have two more papers but those papers are in Proceedings of conference.One published in "Proceedings of Neural, Parallel & Scientific Computations" and other titled "Application Of Self Organizing Map – A Powerful Datamining Tool For Prioritization Of Malaria Endemic Zones In Arunachal Pradesh, India" in "Recent dvances in Biotechnology and Bioinformatics" yet this paper is very dear to me. Sharing it with you.....

Dedicated to my teachers

2006-09-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

Its Teacher's day.
"The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires"

Today's post is dedicated to those who taught me writing, to those nursery teachers(especially Vina Jain Madam) who taught with great patience how to scribble those alphabets, which never means much to a toddler.
To those who made us understand the subjects in the curriculum and much beyond.
To the strict principal of T.R.M.Public school Nirmal Dube Madam who instilled the values in us.
To lineant and smiling Somprabha Madam who taught us the purity of language and how to relish literature
To my English Teacher Mr. Ranbir Singh who told that we destroy ourselves when we say this is my subject and this is not, for telling knowledge knows no boundaries and for teaching that adversity can never be an excuse for failure.
To Pradeep Sir(Geography Teacher) for his fatherly affection.
To Saroj Bala madam who evoked my interests in Chemistry.
To Ashok sir(Biology Teacher) who made us see every thing from a new perspective, who can forget his 3 hour long classes.
To Manisha Mathur madam, (Biology Teacher in 8 class) who took away all my fears of Maths.
To Dr. Bharti, Dr. Narang, Dr.Kulshreshta, Dr. Daljeet Singh for making our foundations and basic fundae so clear that even now I rely and start my preparation from their notes(Mind u it was in 1995 and now its 2006, but still those notes are so relevant, trust me I update myself as well as the notes but the whole way of explanation was unique)Dr.P.C.Sharma who used to pose a challenge every day and thus, making us work harder and testing our own mental limits, Dr. B. Ramesh for his help and who taught us the value of time.
To Dr. Randhawa, who went a way beyond to help me out.
To Dr. Ramesh K. Aggrawal, mty first Boss in Center for Cellular and Molecular biology who bear all my foolish mistakes yet always guided me at every step and of course for inspiring to acquire tendency to seek perfection in whatever u do and to continue in pursuit of Knowledge.
To Dr. K.Ulaganathan(my previous Guide) for his valuable suggestions and healthy discussions which always enlighten me.
To Dr. Murty for his cooperation and efforts he took to get me registered in his department against all odds.
To Dr. SatyaKala for always being there and demonstrating how a teacher should be..........
and all those who are in this noble profession.
To my bhaiya who taught me the meaning of life.
To my mom who taught me to say Thanks.
To you for again making me feel that I am alive.
And my biggest thanks go to Life, its experiences as I found them to be the biggest teachers.I could not be the same person with any one out of these , I would not have been the same person as I m today.

Good Bye Pluto!

2006-08-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

"Mercury , Venus, Earth, Mars,Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune , Pluto". A typical answer of even a 4th grade student if anyone asks him/her to tell the name of planets.This is what we have read and taught. But not any more.Pluto has been dethroned from planet status.

In a recent development about the definition of planet at Prague , Pluto has lost its place as a planet.Jay Pasachoff of Williams College in Williamstown, Massachussets opined "I think that today can go down as the day we lost Pluto."
It is now included in a family of "Dwarf planets" including Ceres, Charon, Xena and plutoand thusand other smaller solar system bodies according to committee appointed by International Astronomical Union.The decision found grounds from tiny size and tilted orbit. So, Size does matter.Ab hamare Walt disney ke favorite character pluto kahin morcha to nahin bandh lenge ki ab is naam mein vo planets wali baat nahin rahi, naya naam chahiye.
Now, all the Indian astrologers can give a dewy-eyed farewell to their Yam Dev from their Astrology books aur fir se graho ki ganana karein, par ab un kundaliyon ka kya hoga jis mein yam grah ke tour par virajmaan the, chaliye ye lekha jokha chodte hain jyothishiyon ke liye aur santavana dete hain, apne pyare pluto ko......

"Scrabble goes pink"

2006-08-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

"Scrabble goes pink"
I was about to ignore it as another publicity gimmic, as just recently hutch went pink(though the color looks horrible as compared to the orange one).Then I gave a glance to the article and found this change to be towards a novel cause.Scrabble , invented in 1948, had been very popular and all different versions of this boardgame in different languages were welcomed with open arms by people.It has changed its color first time in the history to raise money for research into breast cancer, its makers Mattel announced.

Letters, tiles, racks, boards and boxes will be tinged pink, with 1.50 pound from each pond 15 sale going to cancer charity from mid September.Seeing the escalating breast cancer cases and inadequate fundings available, it is a quite a applausable step.

2006-08-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

"Chot kadi hai kal prabal ki,
uski muskaano se halki,
rajmahal kitne sapno ka ,
pal mein nitya dhaha karta hai,
mujhse chaand kaha karta hai.
Tu to hai laghu manav keval,
prithvi tal ka vasi nirbal,
taaron ka asamarth ashru bhi
nabh se nitya baha karta hai,
mujhse chand kaha karta hai.
Tu apne dukh mein chilata,
aankhon dekhi baat batata,

tere dukh se kahin kathin dukh,
ye jag moun saha karta hai,
mujhse chand kaha karta hai.."
:Bachchan

ek virodhabhas

2006-08-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

Today , I wrote my exam, may be the last academic exam for an official degree.I was very nervous as I could not prepare any thing , blame it to my negligience, lack of planning or sudden trip to Delhi. was just wondering what I am going to write but you came to rescue.......exam mera tha pariksha tumhari ho rahi thi......

Exam hall tak ka safar, kuch kuch sahmi si main, tabhi vohi elderly lady dikhi, parso ke exam mein jo 5 minute extra le gayi thi, exam hall ki sust ghadi bana kar.Unka parichay poocha, jan kar accha laga ki aaj 30 saal baad vo ph.d kar rahi hai, mera sar jhuk gaya un ke samne, itni lagan , itna prem shiksha se. aur poochne par jana ki vo adhyapika hai, ek prathishit college main. achcha laga aur bhi ki jis mein shiksha ka itna anurag ho, vohi to kisi ko prerit kar sakta hai, bilkul sahi vyakti shikshak hone ke liye.......
bhram toota......
kuch der baad pariksha shuru hone par aaram se purse se ek parcha nikala aur likhna shuru....mere unhein ghoorne ka bhi kuch asar nahin, itne nishchint bhav se vo nakal karne mein magan thi ki kya kahiye.
ek shikshika .........
kya yahi rah gaya hai shiksha ka aadarsh?
ye upadhi ka moh kya aapko apne siddhanto se girane ke liye kafi hai....
kya vo apne bachcho ya kahiye ki apne vidhyarthiyon ko koi aadarshon ki dharohar payengi.......
tab bhi sar jhuka tha mera, ab fir se jhugk gaya par is baar shraddha se nahin sharma se.............ab fir se vahi baat.........kya ye hain bilkul sahi vyakti shikshak hone ke liye?

2006-07-11T04:28:00.000-07:00

I was in a hurry, bit tired, after all the day work in the lab and had decided to go to for shopping all those items which we have decided to gift to uncle , aunty and Ananya. Could not find time to grab a bite in the afternoon, and Amit , too was hungry. So, we were just giving a cursory look, little unsure what to buy or rather should we buy with our stomachs begging for some fuel so that we can survive after our shopping spree. Fed up with my habit of looking in other shop, but still smiling, Amit was concerned whether I could walk this much. Novice in buying pearls, but still giving it a try, looking for some thing nice but whatever the salesman will show, we will turn it down, “ Oh, not that kind”. Finally , we were on the way back, in the busy street of Parklane , I was startled by the view which the flashy and everbusy road , always crowded by people presented to me. Sitting on one side of road , was this little boy , somewhere around 7-8 years of age, with his toddler sister sleeping in his lap, the boy was trying to put her to sleep , but himself was so tired and sleepy , that every 2-3 second he was also sleeping. The noise of traffic and moving crowd, waking the baby every now and then, thus wasting his effort, but again he would start this pampering , and same routine followed.

We were moved with this pathetic sight , We put some money near this boy and moved on, but that sight was still bothering me. The amount which we left , might fetch them a single meal, but after that? Could we not help them monetarily little bit extra? The thought of this little bit extra led me to the Budget, needs, my priorities. Some selfishness has definitely creeped in me which stopped me from going back and giving them some extra. We discussed and argued about this petty sum which we left and whether it will be of any significance .Then , we decided to stop tipping the waiters at these eating joints and posh hotels, yeah, it means the strange looks on their faces, a little arrogance in their behavior , but we will keep this money with us. This 10% -15% tipping protocol which we were generally following was increasing the waiter’s pocket weight by some 300-400 p.m. We have decided to keep this money aside and try to help kids like them with this meager amount.

"Charo aur hai phaila vaibhav,
sadak kinare sisakta shaishav
kahin hai shakti sampannta ki pyas,
kahin do joon roti ki aas.
dekh thithakna,aur fir chalna,
kya chand sikke sanvar payenge unka jeevan
ek ke karne se kya kuch hoga,
yahi soch hum samjha lete apna man.
kyon na hum kare jo thoda bahut bas mein hai tere mere,
ek ek kiran mili to , la payenge inke jeevan mein naye savere."

I understand a person alone can not make the difference, but let us do our share .

""Ghar se masjid hai bahut door, chalo yoon kar lein,
ek rote hue bacche ko hansaya jaye."

Some interesting questions?

2006-07-05T03:56:00.000-07:00

What should one call a male ladybird?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is it called a TV set when there's only one?

Ek aasha

2006-07-04T00:36:00.000-07:00

Aastha ki deewarein charmarane mat dena,
Maathe pe koi shikan kabhi aane mat dena,
Vartmaan mein jo andhera ug aaya hai,
Usmein aasha ki ek kiran to hai,
Jo sambhal paye meri lahuluhan aatma ko,
aisa ek bandhan to hai
Varna koun jane kya chipa tha bhavishya ke garbha mein,
amrit tha ya tha halahal,
koun kya kahe is sandarbh mein,
pana ya khona, ye kab manuj ke haath mein hai,
sukh pane mein nahin prapti ki aas mein hai.
In ashruo ko dekh tum kyon neer bahate ho?
Dekhna,
is dard ki banjar dhara ke sakhth dharatal ko parajit kar
hansi ka ek phool ugega,
band hue hain jo dwar anginat,
ek naya dwar bhi khulega.
(Neelima Arora)

2006-06-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

Was arranging and dusting my books , jo mahine se na chue jane se gard chat rahi thi, , these lines of Gulzar made me smile.

"kitabein jhankti hain band almaari kay sheeshon se
bari hasrat se takti hain
maheenoo ab mulaaqat nahi hoti
jo shamein in ki sohbat main kata karti thein,
ab aksar guzar jaati hain computer kay pardon par
badi bachain rahti hian kitabein

zaban par zaiqa aata tha jo in safhe (page) palatne ka
ab ungli click karne se bas
ik jhapki guzarti hai
buhat kuch tah ba tah khulta chala jaata hai parde par
kitabon se jo zaati rabta tha kat gaya hai

kabhi seeny pe rakh ke lait jaate the
kabhi godi main rakhte thay
kabhi ghutno ko apne rahal ki soorat bana kar
neem sajday main padha karte the,choote the jabhee se
khuda ne chaha to wo sara ilm to milta rahega baad main bhi

magar who jo kitabon main mila karte thay sookhay phool
kitabein mangne,girnay,uthane kay bahane rishty bante the
unka kya hoga
wo shayad ab nahi honge!"
(Gulzar)

Meel ke pathar

2006-06-27T04:08:00.000-07:00

jeevan ki raahon mein,
gati pakadte hue,
apne gantavya tak pahunchne ki ,
utkantha mein,
hum bisra dete hain bahut se log,
kuch pahchane, kuch anjane ,
aur andekha kar dete hain,
un drishyon ko ,
jo aankho ke pat par aa khulte hain,
ek natkiyata ke saath.
aur vo chaanv bhi kahan yaad rah paati hai,
jahan rook kar dam lene ko man chaha tha.......
dikhti hai to bas sooni na khatam hone wali sadak...
jo kabhi seedhi, to kabhi ghumavdaar,
kabhi choti choti pagdandiyon mein bant jaati hai...
bina disha nirdhark sanketo ke, jahan aap dhoondhte rah jate hai kuch landmarks,
ya poochte hain, ajnabiyon se apni hi manjil ka raasta.
par itne anubhavo se do chaarr hone ke baad bhi
bas yaad rahte hai to mile ke pathar........

Tumhari yaad

2006-06-23T03:22:00.000-07:00

Yaadon ke jungle mein ,
main yoon stabdha khadi thi,
jaise svayam se hi hoon nitant aparichit,
jahan kuch aur nahin dikhai deta,
is beeyaban jungle ke siva,
aur apni parchayiaan jo darakhto se lambe hone hi hod mein ho,

aur aa jati hai aise mein teri yaad,
patto ke beech se jhirti sooraj ki roshni ki tarah.

(Neelima Arora)

2006-06-23T02:32:00.000-07:00

Jaagta hua bachcha ,
Jagata hai,
Ek thos vishvas,
Jindagi me.
Hriday ke bheetar,
Aur sote hue bachche ka chehra
lagata hai,
Ishvar ki mohar,
is dastavej ke oopar
(Poet unknown)

Rishte

2006-06-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

Rishte bhi pani ki tarah hote hain,
Kabhi chalte hain veg se,
Kabhi sookhte hain jindagi ki ret pe,
Kabhi ud jaate hain vashp ban ke, fir se umad ghumad aa kar baras jane ko
Kabhi aankho mein rook jate hain, aansoo ki manind bas yoon hi sath sath roolane ko
To kabhi ubal padte hain aaveg mein
Bulbulo se shanbhangur bhi hote hain, jo aaj hain, kal nahin
Barf bhi ban jam jate hai sheet prapat mein,
Ushnata kho dete hai baat hi baat mein
kuch rishte aise hote hain ki un mein apna pratibimb dikhai deta hai,
jo kabhi nahin suna tha, vo antarman ka satya bhi sunai deta hai,
Par fir bhi,
rishto ka hona utna hi jaroori hai,
jitna pani ka,
Jeevan ko jeevan kahne ke liye……….

(Neelima Arora)

A mouthful of sky

2006-06-05T04:14:00.000-07:00

Baada kaat kaat ke haaa ne,
buna hai tere liye ek aasman
Ab pankh faila aur ud chal
Yoon kar athkheliyaan
Jaise ye hai tera bichouna
Au tu hai is duniya se anjaan,
ek nanhi si jaan.
Yoon odh le ise,
ki tu abhi jaane nahi hai udna
Bana le pankh is aasmaan ke,
aur ud chal
yoon chonch mein daba le,
is dhara ka koi kona
ki ek ho jaye dharti aasmaan
pal bhar ke liye
aa dekh tere liye khula aasmaan
lahrate aanchal ki tarah
bicha hua hai
teri raah takta

2006-05-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

Vo shan jinka maine upyog nahin kiya,
Vo shan jinse maine sanjog nahin kiya,
Vo shan , jinhe kho diya,
vo shan jinhein banjar mein bo diya,
vo sab milke mere khilaf khade ho gaye,
aur mera sapna sapna hi rah gaya,
isliye shayad mera bhavishya ajanma hi rah gaya.
(Vijay Nirbadh)

How many tragedies do we need?

2006-04-12T04:38:00.000-07:00

This is one word I can find to describe my feelings or state of mind after seeing the coverage of Meerut Fire tragedy on various TV channels. Charred Bodies, mourning relatives and indifferent administration, all these together cut a figure of sorry state of affairs. Adding to this pathetic situation are the rumors of recovery of skeletons at different places . Relatives of victims just roaming around , pleading to authorities in a vain attempt to get a word about wellbeing of their families and policemen pushing them off , news of use of bulldozers to remove the proofs and alleged removal of dead bodies , these are just extreme acts of barbarism.will any amount of compensation be enough to wipe tears of familes who have suffered the loss of lives? My sympathy is there with all the victims family and I can just pray for peace of those who went to this consumer Fair , and never returned. But will this tragedy also go unnoticed or will it be politically exploited or it will awaken the administration to make sure such incidences are not repeated and minimal security norms will be followed in future. How many such tragedies do we need to open the eyes of government and administrators, can’t we learn anything from Upahar tragedy and this Meerut Fire and make sure that all the measures to ensure the safety of Public are taken?

2006-04-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Jindagi ki raftar ke sath bhagte bhagte kuch dino ke liye mere kadam raftar kho baithe the, and it was really horrible .Was advised bed rest for few days which turned out to be bad rest. I m back and many more posts are going to come in next few days, keep visiting this space .

Surajmukhi, pahchano svayam ko

2006-03-11T02:46:00.000-08:00

O Surajmukhi,
tumhe dekh aksar
sochne par vivash ho jaati hoon.
Ki kyon tum apne poorna vaibhav main khil kar bhi,
ek suraj ka mukh takte ho,
aur mod lete ho apni dish
har badalti hui soraj ki disha ke saath.
Jab ki tum bhi jaante ho,
na vo rookega,
thamega,
na hi chodega apna ye roj ugane aur doobne ka niyam,
yoon hi ghumata rahega tumhe
is disha se us disha ke chor tak
ek vikshipt ki tarah,
pranaya ka pralobhan diye.
tum ek baar apne bheetar ke prakash ko pahchan
svayam ke liye vihason to,
main tumhara sooraj ban jaoongi,
main jo tumhari nishta,,
tumhri saadhna,
tumhari prerna hoon,
tumhe adig rahne ka marg batlaoongi,
aur ye bhi na kar pao to
apne surya ko uga kar dekho.
Tumhare is vishvas ka prakash kya kam hai
ki tumhe kisi surya ki aur
ujale ki bheekh ke liye jholi failani pade.Pahchano svayam ko,
aur is udhaar ki disha se dwigbhramit hone ko chod,
us paraye surya se mukh mod
apni ek disha chuno
(Neelima Arora)

Broken dreams , persisting Hope

2006-03-10T01:03:00.000-08:00

I remember the time, my eyes used to dream, dreams of innovations, dreams of doing something productive. But today when I look back, after so much of struggle, at what stage do I find myself? Comfortable? Yes.Satified? Nope!!!!!!!!!
Always I percieved the research field I entered as an opportunity to learn, to acquire new skills at a time and here I am changing fields, instead of learning, I am supposed to exercise some "selective amnesia" to fit in.The girl who used to question, her inquisitiveness has become a thing of past.Exploring different arenas has become a remote possibility and the very desire and effort of keeping myself updated about recent trends and uttering the slightest detail of any emerging technique of a field different than what I am supposed to(yes, "supposed to" )is becoming a question mark on my inclination to be in this field.I sometimes wonder whether my decision to enter this field was correct? But whom I should complain, when every decision was mine.I have been dwindled heavily with these thoughts and concern and the stress involved is killing. Why restriction on learning? Why do we need to see every problem with only one angle?Why I am the one getting concern about flaws in the ways things are done, why i keep on hitting my head and spoiling my sleep in night howwe can rectify the thing, finding solutions. Why i am not taking the tried and tested comfortable path of keeping my mouth shut and working?
"Main apni hi uljhi hui
raahon ka tamasha
Jaate hai jidhar sab
main udhar kyoon nahi jata"
But I know I will pass out the phase, and will keep on saying a spade a spade.I have to carve on my niche, frustrated I may be but I have not let the hope fly off from the side window.Only thing I need to dust off my zeal and borrow some criosity of a child and set out on my way and one day those dreams will return back , no not in the eyes, but in front of eyes, the place where they mean to be in the way they mean to be.I know it will be difficult to carry on in the way as I intend, but tell me a field where there will be no difficulties. I will better struggle than give up.
" I would rather stumble a thousand times
attempting to reach a goal,
than to sit in a crowd
in my weather-proof shroud,
a shriveled and self-satisfied soul.

I would rather be doing and daring
all of my error-filled days,
than watching, and waiting, and dying,
smug in my perfect ways.

I would rather wonder and blunder,
stumbling blindly ahead,
than for safety's sake
lest I make a mistake,
be sure, be safe, be dead"

International women Day

2006-03-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

I could not wrie a post as intended on International Women Day due to scarcity of time,This post is dedicated to all the women, spirit of womenhood.
Though the words are not mine, my feelings at moment reflect the spirit.
"Open your eyes and ears so that you can be alert
To the injustices of our sisters
Around the world:
Women suffering from lack of education,
From malnutrition,
From inhumane treatment and the
Disrespect of their societies.
Use your hands to build up our daughters
Give them the foundation
To become strong, healthy individuals
Who demand safe homes and streets
So they will no longer be victims
Of domestic,
Racial,
Sexist,
And unnecessary violence.
Walk on, though your feet may be weary
For you leave tracks behind you
That other women may find direction
From the lessons you have learned.
Be pleased with your unique bodies...
They represent your individuality!
Celebrate your spiritual, mental and physical journeys
That mold you
Into the person that only you can be.
Open your hearts;
Be proud of your empathy!
Nurture one another
And be jubilant in your tears
for those less fortunate,
For the moments that cause you to pause
And feel what life has to offer.
And, lastly, remember your voices!
Speak out, shout out, sing out
With the honor and integrity inherent in each of you...
Remember who you are with your song,
For it only takes one voice
To start a choir"

Woh pal tasalli dete hain

2006-03-06T00:41:00.000-08:00

" woh pal tasalli dete hain jab kandhon pe rishte khilte hain"(Those moments are the most satisfying when relationships prosper on one’s shoulder)
How true!
Suddenly this tagline of ICICI ad caught my attention and I was left thinking, again was lost in past . Feeling the same intensity of pain and the urge to cry on my bhaiya's shoulder, want again his sleeve to wipe my tears .Again I want him to do something stupid to make me laugh. Just waiting for my bhaiya's arrival.He is the only one in world who can make me smile in tears or cry while laughing.Just can not wait for his arrival, earlier I used to wonder how people count days waiting for someone, and here I am requesting time to develop wings and fly off.We will be meeting after years, I have so much to say, much more to hear, but lot to feel.

Yesterday and Today

2006-03-03T02:25:00.000-08:00

Which society we are living in?

2006-02-27T00:21:00.000-08:00

Today I was startled by a picture published in Deccan chronicle..It was not a pretty picture of display of affection of a baby and pet dog which it could have otherwise been.

One-year-old Shivani , daughter of Diku Mai Munda, 30, was married to a stray dog at Mundadhowra village in Jharkhand on Friday. this strange inhumane ritual was performed on February 22 to ward off evil, as part of tribal beliefs. Shivani’s teeth first appeared on the upper jaw which, according to the tribal tradition, is extremely inauspicious (Source: Deccan Chronicle)
Which society we are living in, I am writing all this a day before the "National science day" and being a part of scientific community , feel ashamed at the sorry state of affairs. What could be the reasons for the continuation if not prevalence of the medieval practice of superstitions?Just on Friday as a regular idiot box fan, we were watching a TV serial on Star one" Mano Ya na mano" which showed a Lord Hanuman devotee , prating for kids who are incarnations of Hanuman, and his prayers frutifying as three of his kids out of seven showed clear resemblances to apes. These kids can not talk , have low IQ, and are dependent on their step mothers for performing even day to day activities. And to top it all, they are worshipped at places, are invited for religious processions.Anchor was questioning what are they? Aadimanav, Lord Hanuman incarnation , or a link between man and devils.This is the stupidity what we are served on these channels . Is it not promoting the vey superstitions they talk about warding off? These were clear cases of
atavism , a phenomena in which ancestral characters reappear in the offspring . It may be some vestigeal organ like pointed canines, more hair, tail.and this practice is not new, remember Tulsidas, who wrote "Rama charit Manas" was abandoned by his parents bcoz he was born with teeth.
How long the people will be tortured in the name of superstions? Lets join hands in spreading a word against thes superstitions and to impart scientific knowledge.

mera jawab

2006-02-26T23:38:00.000-08:00

Vivek asks his reader what they would do in given cricumstances.
Lets say that you are a key witness in a murder case. You saw the accused kill the victim right in front of your eyes. The facts of the case are absolutely clear to you, and fresh in your memory. Now, your testimony is up for tomorrow. You get a call during the night before the fateful day. The caller threatens to kill/harm either you or your wife/your kids/someone-very-dear-to-you. Alternatively, the caller could make you a different offer - that of money. Say Rs. 1 Crore (a little over $200,000). You know for sure that the accused can indeed shell out that much money. The condition is obvious. You must become a hostile witness. What would you do? And why?
jawab aasan nahin tha.
Visheskar tab , jab aap kabhi in paristhitiyon se na gujre ho. bas dekha ho inhe film ke rupahale parde par, ek nange sach ki tarah ya upanyaso ki ibarat mein, aur jin sab mein trasit hota hai parivar, aur dekhte hai ek rookha nakaratmak ravaiya apne aas paas ka, napunsakta sarkari dhanche ki, aur apne hi andar ke khauf aur kamjori.
adhiktar in sabhi paristhitiyon mein vivash ho jaatei hain gawah, kabhi bikane aur kabhi jhukne ke liye. haan , naitikta ka jhanda uthaein sab kah sakte hain ki gawahon ko bikna nahin chahiye par jab khud ko unhi paristhi unhi dabawo mein paate hai, to bahut se sar jhuk jaate hain, himmatein ghutne tek detei hain. dridhtapoorvak kah sakti hoon ki paisa mera jameer nahin khareed payega par jab parijano ki suraksha ki baat aati hai, to kya jaane unhi jhuke siro mein ek sar mera bhi ho.yeh kahte hue bilkool bhi sharmasaar nahin hoon, kyonki ab tak yahi hote dekha hai, police aur judiciary ka bikna aur piste hain to bas aawaj uthane wale log. gupt rah kar bhi soochna dene walon ka kya hashra haota hai kisi se nahin chipa, is liye mera nirnay beshak naitikta aur aadarshon par adhik aank na paye, practical yahi rahega.
Hostile Witness

Another sleepless night

2006-02-20T01:25:00.000-08:00

Poem in mind:A poem read long back somewhere .
"Shabdon ki Chadar Bicha kar,
Vicharo ka takiya laga kar,
bhala neend aati hai kahin
phir bhi is raat mein,
dhoondhna padta hai mujhe
vo neend ka tukda ,
jo mere hisse ka hai"

Sookha darakht

2006-02-20T01:07:00.000-08:00

Kal se kuch kuch khoya sa lagta hai. Shayad ek panapta rishta jo ek bel ki tarah mujhse lipate tha. bachpan mein maa kahti thi mamta aurpyar ka amrit kitna bhi udenlo, kalash khali nahin hota, par ab kai baar mujhe lagne laga hai ki ye unka sach tha. main to kai baar koshish karti hoon, mamta udenlne ki , us sneh ko jo baadh aayi nadi sa umad padta hai, meri is choti si sakhi ke liye(jis mein sakhi kam , bahan aur ek bacchi jyada pati hoon)ke liye par jaane kaise hriday se aate aate , kuch boondein bhi nahin gir paati, kahan shushk ho jaata hai ye sara vatsalaya, kahin mere shabdon ki ushnata pa, vaashp ban ud jaata hai, ya vahi sab samet kar bhi ret se sookhi hi rah jaati hai. par us ki uljhane uthate suljhate main hi ulajhati ja rahi hoon, aur saath hi ulajhata ja rahahai, ye sambandh.

"Fir se upaja
ankur ek rishte ka,
fir se sameti maine apni aasteene
ki seenchoon unhein prem ke ras se
fir se samjhaya,
man ki retili jameen par ,
khade us sookhe darakht ne
mat seencho rishto ko, ye badhte hain,
hare hote hain, fir thoonth ho jaate hain
meri tarah"
(a poem by Ashutosh)

2006-02-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went to All India Industrial Exhibition at Nampally .Ash had decided just to window shop, how I wish I could curb my temptation, always I get lured with some thing or the other, a small flower, may be ek choti si Ganesha ki idol, Clothes and anything.Always I go with a mind set that I am not going to buy anything but end up buying , always coming with hands full. May be this shopping , to add some beauty to my abode gives me a pleasure an addict derive after intoxication.
We took along Mom, to put her bargaining skills to a test, and she was so full of confidence.Every time I buy anything, her experienced eyes disapprove at the slightest mention of price.Always she will tell tales of " Hamara jamana............".Still she consider me a kid who does not the ABC of bargaining, who can be duped anywhere, who does know quality. So, I thought of letting her do all the bargaining and see the result.
So much of crowd was there at the entrance, She wanted to come back.We were seeing all the shops, with a cursory view, scanning all dresses.I had planned to buy some chikan dresses(yes chikan, not chicken, its a lucknowi art of embroidery)and mom was like you and your chikan fetish.Whole market was flooded with Kashmiri work, shawls, lot of glitters, intricate work. The aroma of food, and my hunger pangs forced us to look out fotr a food joint.
Ash wanted some mouth watering Pani puri.After ordering pav bhaji for mom, we came out to see a big crowd at the stall, women of all age groups, few just out of the teens, few married, grown up ladies, relishing pani puri while their hubbies enjoying the sight.Just a look on plates, and you know that they are not going to be washed , simply rinse with water,that too if hawker gets time.We turned away, but ash looked disappointed, we asked for Disposable "Dona", but the time he took in getting it out was enough to notice the dirty hands of boy serving, dipping every time in pani, and adding a fresh quota of microbes. I thought at least this will be enough for Ash to reconsider her decision but she wanted it , so we had it served on table(same pani puri, same pani, I fail to understand what difference does it make).So free Amoebiasis and infection at a cheap price of Rs 15 per plate.
While surfing through the shops, fighting our way in crowd, losing the way several times, we could not find any chiklan shop. Lately, we found that amidst kashmiri work, there were few chikan shops we were missing out. See, this is life, while on our way to life, we miss out those very things we were looking out for.
Itra ki mahak, khilkhilate chehre, kuch na kuch dhoondhti nigahein, jid karte baccho ko bahlati maaein, lalchai nigaho se dekhte bekaso ke armaan, every thing was there at the same place.But there was something common to all, an urge to get more, a satisfaction of getting something or at least a hope of buying someday that particular doll, that particulat Tv, or that expensive dress.Hope is something that remains.................While on the way, saw many beggars, one lying on the road with some disability, and saw people not giving a look also .
This is an irony. jeevan ka ek vibhats roop, jindagi ki khubsurat shakl sabhi dekhna chahte hai, bhoutik sadhano ke peeche bhagte hai, indradhanushi sapne bunte hai, aur un shanbhangur cheezon ko hasrat se dekhte hai, jo aaj hai, kal nahin, par apne aas paas bikhare jeevan ko dekhne ka samay hi nahin milta, milta bhi hai to hum mud kar nahin dekhna chahte us rukh ko jo jindagi hume kabhi kabhi dikhati hai, sach ka.........

Vo shan

2006-02-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

Vo shan jinka maine upyog nahin kiya,
vo shan jinse maine yog nahin kiya,
vo shan jinhein kho diya,
vo shan , jinhein banjar mein bo diya,
vo shan , mere khilaf khade ho gaye,
isiliye mera sapna sapna hi rah gaya,
aur mera bhavishya ajanma hi rah gaya.
(Vijay Nirbadh)

Seeing the world from a different angle

2006-02-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

Chup...

2006-02-06T23:24:00.000-08:00

Chup si lagi hai
andar jor,
ek aawaj dabi hai,
vah dabi cheekh niklegi kab?
jindagi aakhir shuru hogi kab?
aakhir kab?
khule man se hansi kab aayegi?
is dil mein khusi kab khilkhilayegi?
barso is jaal mein bandhi
pyas abhi bhi hai, apne path par chali jaoongi
aas abhi bhi hai, par intejaar mein
dil dheere dhere marta hai
dheere dheere pista hai man, shesh kya rahta hai?
dar hai, ek din, yeh dheeraj na choot jaye
roko na mujhe , kahin ye jwalamukhi na foot jaye
vah foota to
is shri srijan ko kaise bachaoongi
vishva mein matra ek
kissa ban rah jaoongi
samay ki gahraiyon mein kho jaoongi.
( a poem by Neelkamal)

Butterfly dust

2006-02-06T00:30:00.000-08:00

Now, the interview is over. And the tension has dissolved.......I am again in mood to Blog hop.Today, I got a mail from a classmate , Gaurav , trying to ask me whether I remember him or not?A question asked many times, in many ways, from many people.I do remember my friends of past and what i have, if not memories and dreams of tomorrow. Memories of good old days, of friends, those fights and innocent patch ups, some silly competition knowing little where life will take us, which path we are going to chose, clueless about destinations.Yes, sometimes, ties are broken, we lose contacts, but can it swipe away memories.No, I think.Life is sometimes like butterfy Dust.We run after it, mesmerised by its bright , vibrant colors,its flutter , but when we try to hold it in our hand, it flies away and in the end what we gei is butterfly dust, a sign that it had been there for a while, it has touched our soul, rather we have managed to just touch it........not less that we can not feel it, not enough that we get satisfied.Just our own share.....
This space has become so important for me, I realised only on Friday when something on my template got messed up and I was on the verge of losing all the posts, I could not even afford the very thought of losing the posts and comments of fellow bloggers .Thanks to timely help of Jeet, every thing is back to normal.

On the right side of scale

2006-02-03T03:44:00.000-08:00

Just now, I am coming after weighing myself and first time the scale made me happy. After 5 years of struggle, I have achieved my ideal weight of 45 kg, comparing myself when a skinny girl , just 32 kg came to Hyderabad in 2000 and 45 kg now, a good sign. Hyderabad raas aa gaya apne ko! My friends in modinagar used to tease me, they would just blow air and then ask” Are you still here?” They can no longer tease me……….

I will wait...........

2006-02-02T23:48:00.000-08:00

A colleague always had an onion peel effect on me and for past few days, I started giving smile, initially a fake one, no reason, simply and even I never realised that when it turned into a genuine warm smile, one that shows I care.And now I noticing the difference , difference in her smile, the way she reciprocates.
Sometimes, we have our own inhibitions , the walls we have made around us, the armor of silence which wrap us acting in play which make other people distant. I can clearly see the iceberg between us melting and the silence dissolving.
Till it become a warm spring of rejuvenating waterthat washes off all the grim of dust from our previous bitter experiences , I will wait...........

The Mask

2006-02-02T23:34:00.000-08:00

"We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!"

Preparing for SRF interview

2006-02-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

I am going to face SRF interview on 6th Feb.So, preparing for the interview is consuming a major chunk of my time and I am preparing to present my results for getting further extension to carry out my research.Of course, tension build up, some nervousness is there .But gathering my results and keeping them in a presentable form is my priority right now.Yes, I started things little late but I hope , I will finish this by tomorrow.Just read these lines by Emily Dickinson:
"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.

Another milestone

2006-02-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

India achieves leprosy eradication target .the statistics says so. Its really a milestone achieved. But has the fear of associated with it has changed? Strangely , the answer still lies in no.Even after knowing that only 20% cases are infectious and that too on prolonged contact and exposure that may run into years, and that it is completely curable,it still remains a social stigma. How many of us do not hesistate while even giving some donation to beggars suffering from Leprosy. How many of us do not get disgusted by deformities caused by leprosy and just try hard to keeep a distance from them?The society even had given the name "LEPERS"to people suffering from disease which is just caused by a germ Mycobacterium leprae? Had any one ever heard any such term for people suffering from more deadly and infectious diseases like HIV, Cancer and Hepatitis? This is a social discrimination against them. We may see community participation for eradication of other diseases, awareness campaigns but how many of us have seen ads for Leprosy eradication and more importantly what is being done for rehabiliation of people siuffering from leprosy.Is the society ready to accept them .Even though the medicines are provided free at community health centres but do the patients have this knowledge.
Leprosy is just another disease, like TB . Don't give them look of pity, believe me , they don't need it, just give them the right information and show, we care and that's all is needed .
[Leprosy]
[National Leprosy eradication Programme]
[Mycobacterium leprae]
[India]

Hey Ram!

2006-01-31T03:21:00.000-08:00

Why there is so much of hullaboo about Gandhi's last words?How does it affects a commoner whether he said"Hey Ram" or died silently.When no one is paying any heed to what he constantly preached through out his life, the message of non violence and truth, why that much importance to his last words?Its just to grab attention, otherwise why the claimer is braking news now?

Gandhi : Different People , different Meanings

2006-01-30T02:03:00.000-08:00

Today is Martyrs Day. A supposed holiday again. I got up to my mom’s grouching while surfing the channels to see people paying homage to Gandhiji’s last resting place at Rajghat but getting annoyed with not much coverage . In office also, no one even remembers the day .Not much a believer in Gandhi ji’s ideology myself, I will not dig much in past, his status as nation’s father, his contribution to our independence, his realization of importance of Swadeshi, Dalit upliftment, his stand against untouchability. But still I find it a sad part that we remember him only on 2 october, 30th January or in elections speeches by leaders. For many of the common people Gandhi has become a synonym of Currency. Here I am reminded of a dialogue from a film when a commoner ask the officer “
Gandhi ji ki tasveer ke samne baithe ho, kuch to sharam karo” and prompt came the reply” Tum bhi Gandhi dikhao, aur kam karao”.What an irony?To some, Gandhi means an ideology, to others, he is just a face on currency notes.
[Mahatma Gandhi]
[Martyrs day]

You must be the change you wish to see in the world

2006-01-30T01:07:00.000-08:00

“It is easier to be a doer as only few people in this world will follow that path, whereas most will follow the path of getting the credit for what others have done, hence there will be less competition to follow that path”. This has been a quote written in my Diary since 10th standard and every now and then, I have to turn pages, to see this, read these words again and again, and to feel the strength they give. I agree totally with it but does it make me a less whiner?I grouch when I am not given the credit of my work, and even long for that pat on the back, a word of appreciation .Every now and then, I decide not to aim for perfection in the work, to be more casual in my approach. But again, a new work assigned and I found myself working with same enthu, same zeal, knowing well that again the same story will be repeated . May be I have to blame my stars for it, Being a virgo means always a seeker for perfectionism.Ek asha hai jo tooti nahin, ek ummed hai jo hath pakde liye ja rahi hai, kahti ja rahi hai chalne ko har dam.fir bhi ek koshish, ek prayas kuch badalne ka.I know that nothing is as permanent as a change itself but I believe it should be in the positive direction.
Today I am very happy, the reason may sound weird but Vivek has blogrolled me and he is the person whose blog I visited first and that was my beginning in the blog World.

Republic Day

2006-01-27T02:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am late,, late in putting the post, late in sharing my yesterday experiences with you, late in wishing you for the "Republic day".
Is it only because of my irregularity, or the network problem can be put to blame? Yes, this sounds easy but will it not be lie.
I wanted to write this post but , lying in my cosy bed, watching Republic day procession , and watching most of serials putting forth their patriotism,I felt like ok, I can post in the evening, then it dragged to night. Getting up from my bed leaving cosy warm quilt seemed to be too much effort.After all this was a luxury I could not enjoy for past several weeks.But still I would like to share with you, the talks I had with few people(some known, some strangers)yesterday.
I just got curious to know what Republic day means to different people.
Here are some of the answers:
" Republic Day, are bhai ye kya sawal hua, Republic Day mane republic Day, Bole to, Parade, Flag Hoisting, Cultural Programme, What else?"On probing little further, " apna India aajad hua tha us din,itnaich nai maloom tum padhe like manush ko!"
2nd Reply" Republic Day , its a gazetted holiday, apne liye to sab din barabar hain, kya Independence day, kya Republic day.bas chutti milni chahiye"
3rd reply" Republic day ko hamara constitution bana tha"
" Republic dayko kya special hota hai" Poochne par ek house wife ka answr, baccho ko cultural programme, fancy dress , aur competition ke liye taiyaar karna padta hai, its so much of competition these days........." aur unki school puran vahan se chaloo ho kar , kab government, mahngai, aur sales tak aa gayi. pata hi nahin chala, jab pata chala, 2:30 ho gaye the.
kuch padhe likhe mahunubhavo ne ye answers bhi diya, ki itna celebrate karne ki jaroorat kya hai, thik hai hua hoga is din constitution lagoo, har sal is par itna taam jham kyon, itne kharch mein to har gareeb ko kuch din ka gujar basar ka paisa mil jaye, to accha ho, " baat sahi thi par shayad alfaz aur kahne ke dhang se republic day ki spirit par pani pd gaya.
neeche desh bhakti ke geet chal rahe the aur TV par manoj kumar ki kranti. maine bhi socha ki ye bevajah ka survey band kiya jae. yoon bhi sabne apni sahuliyat se republic day ke arth bana liye hain,
par shaam ko slums(mere ghar ke nikat hi slums hai) ki do bacchiyaan ek chote se box mein toffee le kar aayi to ye soch kar ki unka birthday hoga, unko sweets dete hue , ek pen unko gift ke liye badhaya, aur unhone kaha" Birthday nahin, Republic day" I was touched.I asked who told you to distribute toffee on republic day, she replied that her parents.I also got the first correct answer for my question from them.Dhanya hai vo abhibhavak jinhone unhein ye sanskaar diye. Utni samajh di ki sirf patriotic songs suna, leaders ke flag hoisting karne par taaliyaan bajana aur patriotic songs sunna hi republic day nahin, mahatvapoorna hai chetna failana , vo 50 paise ki toffee ke madhyam se hi kyon na ho, par bahut se logo ko ek matlab ki baat jata gayi, kyon na hum republic day ko ek naya roop dein"A day for Reaching out, Reaching for those who have slept, Reaching out for those who are deprived, a day for bringing hope and a Day for reinforcing our faith in our constitution".
[Republic day]

Ye safar bahut hai kathin magar

2006-01-25T01:48:00.000-08:00

Difficult time, stressed mind and dwindled heavily in emotions, sometimes, I am unable to react also.There were times, words used to come so easily par ab to shabdon par bhi pahre hain.
sapno ko tootte dekhna, un ke tukdon ko sahejte apne haatho ko jakhmi hote dekhna, ye to jindagi ka hissa ban gaya tha, par jab vo sapne apne apno ke haatho se gir ke tootein, to dard aur bhi hota hai, tees aur bhi uthti hai.
yes, there are tensions, at work, in lab, at home but giving up, is out of question. Escapism was never my tendency, I will fight back.
Its pretty difficult to have a win win situatiion when you are deciding which aspect of your life is important to you? What is more important, your ethics, beliefs on which you have grown up, for which you have fought many battles in past or this easy way, these short cutswhich definitely can yield you huge benefits?They say, principles are things of past.But, for me, its a way of life.
Sometimes, I lose faith i my abilities, found myself as misfit and jo manjile kabhi apne liye chuni thi, jin khwahisho ki chadar buni thi, door najar hoti hain, shitij se pare.
par, fir sar uthata hai mera aatma vishvas aur haath pakad mujhe uthata hai , aur main chal padti hoon us manjil ki aur, kyonki

"Dil naummed to nahin, nakaam hi to hai,
lambi hai gham ki shaam , magar shaam hi to hai."

Mere Sirhane jalao sapne

2006-01-25T01:34:00.000-08:00

मेरे सिरहाने जलाओ सपने,
ज़रा सी मुझको तो नींद आए.
ख़्याल चलते हैं आगे आगे,
मैं उनकी छाँव में चल रही हूँ,
ना जाने किस मोम की बनी हूँ,
कि कतरा कतरा पिघल रही हूँ.
मैं सहमी रहती हूँ कि
नींद में भी कोई ख्वाब ना डॅस जाए
कभी बुलाता है कोई साया,
कभी उड़ाती है धूल कोई
मैं एक भटकी हुई सी ख़ुशबू,
तलाश करती हूँ फूल कोई
ज़रा किसी शाख पैर तो बैठू,
ज़रा तो मुझ को हवा झुलाए.
(A song from Maya Memsahab explaining my insomnia and its cure)

Taste of Success

2006-01-25T00:34:00.000-08:00

Khushiyon ke phool liye kai baar noukaein aati hai,
lahro se takra takra kar ,
man ke darvaje khatkhatati hai,
kinare par jo dekhe lalchai najron se,
bas chatpatate rah jaate hai,
jo dalein apne man ki nouka sahas aur vishvas liye,
bhavar se dare bina, in uddand dharo mein,
haasya ki surbhi vo hi paate hein.
khete jaate naiya jeevan ki,
sved baha kar, ashru ganva kar,
par mann mein bhaya naa aane dete
thak kar choor ho tan man ,
par nairashya ko paanv nahi failane dete,
jo man mein pran kar le na rookne ka, na jhukne ka,
vo hi swad safalta ka chakh paate hain.
(Neelima Arora)

2006-01-24T01:58:00.000-08:00

Jeekar dekh liya,
jeene mein kitna marna padta hai,
apni sharto par jeene ki chah sab mein rahti hai
kintu jindagi anugraho ke kitane aashtraya gahti hai
kya kya kahna, kya kya sunna, kya kya karna padta hai
samjhoto ki suiyaan milti, dhan ke dhaage bhi mil jaate
sambandho ke fate vastra to silno ko sil bhi jaate
seevan koun kahan kab udhade
itna darna padta hai.
Jeekar dekh liya , jeene mein kitna marna padta hai

(Shiv Bahadur Bhadhoria )

BEST PROJECT of 2005-2006

2006-01-22T00:31:00.000-08:00

We(Our Bioinformatics Team at IICT have bagged the award for" Project of Excellence in 2005-2006"on our DST
sponsored project " CONTROL OF MALARIA THROUGH INTEGRATED INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY TOOLS IN ARUNACHAL PRADESH".My guide Dr.U.S.N.Murty recieved the award from Mr.C.C.Singhpo, Minister of Health and Human welfare" I am very happy about it. Its the outcome of 1-1/2 year long work.Par " Abhi Sitaronn se aage jahan aur bhi hain.............." Lot of changes, I m planning to incorporate but what can stop me for being happy at this moment for our success.Time to relax or double up efforts. I m confused.
[Arunachal Pradesh]
[IICT]
[Dr.U.S.N.Murty]

Sailing through.........

2006-01-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

Buniyaad is returning back...........

2006-01-20T02:27:00.000-08:00

Morning Mom told that Buniyaad is going to start again on TV and she was nostalgic about it. I remember till now, how she used to wait for it and even my Biji (grandmom) used to clean her specs , aur sardi mein rajai mein bhi thithurti kaise moongphaliyaan le kar baith jaati thi(yeah groundnuts, not popcorns) . Unhone partition ki trasdi jo sahi thi, hum chote hi the,hum mein se kisi ko samajh hi naa aata ki kyon baar baar vo chashma saaf karne lag jaati hainn, aur moongphaliyon ki giriyan nikalne mein mashgool haath, tham kar hontho par aa jate the. Vo kahti ki sab kuch aankhon ke samne ghatit hua lagta hai, bade hone par bhi hum poochte ki kuch shikayat hai, jindagi se, aankhein to naam hoti par dabe hotho par halki si muskkrahat ki rekha kheench jaati, " Nahin, Raab ne jo diya,. accha tha" koi aakrosh nahin, koi pachtawa nahin. Kaash main bhi itna saral soch pati, ye chinta ki gathri kuch pal kandhon se utar chal pati jindagi se kadam milate hue, aur kah pati ki" Pakdo mujhe" .
[Buniyaad]

Ajnabi sur...........

2006-01-20T01:55:00.000-08:00

Yesterday , I was feeling weary, tired and frustrated.I even did not realise how the time was passing and by the time, I started gathering my things to leave from lab, Darkness had blanketed surroundings.My feet were refusing to take another step , but had to keep a promise, So chal diye .
is thake shareer aur daghdha man ko le kar jab tak ghar pahunchi, urja jawab de chuki thi. But as I knocked the door, I found it opened and Himangi, a sweet innocent kid came from behind the door , just in a hope of startling me." Tum Darr gayi thi na?"
ab us bacchi ko koun samjhaye, jindagi mein akasmat hi itne surprises aa jaate hai, samay ki choukhat par, sahsa hi ki darna to bhool gayi hoon, haan kabhi kabhi vismit ho jaati hoon, kabhi baanhein khol kar swagat karti hoon, aur kuch shocking ghatit ho jaye to kabhi kamar kas kar kahti hoon" Aa gaye tum?" kabhi tham kar rah jaati hoon kinkartavyavimoodh ho, aur kabhi chounk kar kadam peeche hat jaate hain.haan, kabhi kabhi muskura bhi leti hoon par darna? darr to mano bhool gayi hoon.
Mon was sitting on the jhoola, humming something, eyes closed, so much in peace with herself that I sat there silently watching her. As she opened her eyes, She gave me the biggest grin , as she was caught in her act. Yes, She has left singing long back but still catches some time when no one is around , hummming or whispering as if not letting anyone know the notes and scale raising , the pitch changing with every word, as if she is afraid of displaying her pain.But I can see the pain floating in your eyes even if it can't speak, I can clearly feel it. Sometimes, i want to tell her, ki chal apne dard se kaho ki mere dard se kuch baatein kar le. tab shayad aapke swar aap ko ajnabi na lagein.

Remembering him?

2006-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

Remembering him!!!
This was a very innocent question when a friend of many year asked me going off the handle many times, yesterday.Where is the question of remembering, when I have not forgotten him for a millisecond also? Though Harivansh Rai Bachchan died in 2003, could it make me forget him .I had grown up on his poems , quoting him every now and then, humming his verses whenever the world showed ugly side, whenever I lost friends, I just wiped away my tears and tried to move on, keeping the pain in the heart drawing inspiration from his lines .In fact, till date , I have kept those Hindi books with me which introduced me first to his work .That poem" beet gaye din ve, beet jayenge ye bhi" always gave me a message to move on.I was so fond of Bachchan ji and his madhushala, that whenever a friend wanted me to gift something very special, they will come, hands folded back, saying" You will not believe what I have brought for you?" and I used to say without batting my eyelid"Madhushala"That way I gathered 7 copies and I could not part with any of those....
shayad vo bachpana hi ho .But even today, whenever I m depressed, happy or lonely, its Bachchan ji's work which give me solace.
[Harivansh Rai Bachchan]

Reading Mind

2006-01-17T23:36:00.000-08:00

Reading mind.......
From the beginning, I was good at reading other people's mind(but unable to know what's going on in my own). Don't believe it? check this out

Fir pukaro mujhe

2006-01-17T03:00:00.000-08:00

In ghani amraiyon mein,
in hari taraiyon mein
fir pukaro mujhe,
naam lo mera .
ki goonje ye dhara.
Roshni ka ek sheesha saaf kar do,
fir andhera cheer kar us paar kar do
bhed kar aakash ki tanhaiyon ko
fir pukaro mujhe,
naam lo mera .
ki goonje ye dhara.
har disha ko ek naya sooraj daan kar do,
fir ujalo mein nayi pehchaan bhar do
foonk kar is hawa mein shahnaiyon ko,
fir pukaro mujhe,
naam lo mera .
ki goonje ye dhara.
baadalon mein dard hai, kuch teesta hai,
sard aatish mein kahin kuch bheegta hai,
paar kar ke hriday ki gahraiyon ko,
fir pukaro mujhe,
naam lo mera .
ki goonje ye dhara.